


Eternal Dusk

by AnkouBlake



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 43,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26147236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnkouBlake/pseuds/AnkouBlake
Summary: Three years after their victory, the Cullens are continuing to live their peaceful life in Forks. Renesmee continues to grow at an alarming rate, both physically and mentally, developing new abilities as time wears on. When she is plagued by nightmares involving the loss of her family to the ever-plotting Volturi, she inevitably leaves the solace of her happy life to go to the source of the problem. Once in Volterra, she unwittingly uncovers a secret that could very well be the undoing of the ancient Royal Coven.
Relationships: Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Jacob Black/Renesmee Cullen
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> This work originally appeared on FanFiction.net. It's been years since I wrote this but with Midnight Sun came out, it revived my Twilight brain. I have made some edits from the original, hopefully for the better. 
> 
> This story is the continuation of Renesmee's story after Breaking Dawn. It is in Renesmee's POV, about three years after the end of Breaking Dawn, so she's physically 13-14 years old. I'm not sure how Stephenie Meyer was aging her, so I'm going to go with that, sorry in advance if that offends anyone. But hey, these are fictional vampires we're talking about here, I can take some liberties. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/189945974@N06/50276959697/in/dateposted-friend/)

I never imagined that I would find myself here, standing before the Royal Coven, vulnerable and scared for the ones that I loved. Hadn't I come here to spare myself this very image?

Before me, the ominous line of black and grey cloaked faces glare at us with their ruby eyes. Inside my chest, my mortal heritage thrums away in panic. My mortality has never been tested before this moment. I could only hope that my vampire genetics outweigh the human ones.

A cold hand slides into mine, his hand an odd sense of reassurance to me. I spare him one quick glance as the line advances on us all, traitors to the monarchy. His milky red eyes shine with the force of his smile, his silent thank you to me for giving him some form of hope; hope that he hadn't seen in decades. I tighten my hold on his hand and face our executioners, readying myself for their killing blow.

And my family. I could feel them behind me now, preparing themselves for the fight that we had so nearly avoided only three years earlier. Perhaps we had always been destined for this, to be the ones who would bring down the megalomaniacs that acted as our protectors, or die trying. A low growl sounds from behind me, raising goosebumps on my arms and then, it begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist for this work is below (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4osl8RzYxuv0aACTgDO2PE?si=YlgKGYFfQainN0NczQ1c-w):
> 
> 1\. Counting Bodies Like Sheep To The Rhythm Of The War Drums - A Perfect Circle (for the nightmare scenes)
> 
> 2\. In My Arms - Plumb
> 
> 3\. Your Guardian Angel - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
> 
> 4\. Blush (Only You) - Plumb
> 
> 5\. Oblivion - 30 Seconds To Mars
> 
> 6\. Leave Out All The Rest - Linkin Park
> 
> 7\. Say Goodbye - Skillet
> 
> 8\. Come Back - The Early November
> 
> 9\. Gone So Young - Amber Pacific
> 
> 10\. Starlight - Muse
> 
> 11\. Map Or Problematique - Muse
> 
> 12\. Here With Me - Plumb
> 
> 13\. Bliss - Muse
> 
> 14\. A Beautiful Lie - 30 Seconds To Mars
> 
> 15\. Butterflies and Hurricanes - Muse
> 
> 16\. Sunburn - Muse
> 
> 17\. Far Away - Nickleback
> 
> 18\. Take A Bow - Muse
> 
> 19\. Not Meant For Me - Wayne Static or off the Queen of the Damned soundtrack
> 
> 20\. Stand My Ground - Within Temptation


	2. Awakening

The pale gray light of dawn woke me. It was a nice change. For the past week, I had been awoken by the creeping sensation of being watched. And, as always when my eyes snapped open, I found my room empty. But even that observation couldn't quell the fear that consumed me. And the dreams. Vague images of long corridors and castle turrets and the never-ending shadows that moved of their own free will.

Now, as I sat up in my bed, I could see the mist swirling around outside my tiny window. Another gloomy day in Forks. No surprise in that. 

_Renesmee_ , I heard my father's voice breathe through my head, _Are you awake_?

_Yes_ , I replied, _You and Momma can come in, if you like_.

My door opened. My eternally youthful parents strolled through the door with large, adoring smiles on their faces. My answering smile mirrored theirs. They walked in a curious way, pressed together, hands hidden behind their backs. I sent a probing thought toward my father in an attempt to see what they were hiding but my mother must have been shielding his mind from me.

"What are you hiding?" I asked aloud, seeing as mental communication was impossible at the present time.

In a flourish, a small, but lovely birthday cake was presented to me, three pearl colored candles aflame on top.

"Happy birthday, Renesmee," they chorused.

"It is my birthday today, isn't it?" I beamed. How had I lost track of the days?

"It is," my mother nodded, taking a seat beside me on the bed, "Or at least that's what your father tells me."

"He would know," I replied.

"Blow out your candles, love, make a wish," my father said, sitting beside my mother.

I did as I was bidden and blew the small flames out easily, but for the life of me, I couldn't think of anything to wish for. I already had everything I could ever want. My mother and father clapped as my mother took the pastry away.

"Do you want to have a piece of this?" she asked me at the door.

"I suppose I can handle a small one," I shrugged. Human food didn't appeal to me so much. I much preferred my parent's diet.

My father bent down and kissed the top of my head, "Get dressed, Ness, your aunt will kill me if we're late."

"She really did ignore my request for a quiet birthday, didn't she?" I sighed.

My father chuckled as he rose from my side, "You're so much like your mother sometimes."

"In all the good ways," I heard her say from the other room, "That cake is waiting for you when you're ready."

"Thank you, Momma," I replied at a normal volume.

"I'll let you dress now," my father said, my door already closed, "And please wear the dress that Alice picked out for you."

"Of course," I murmured, eyeing the thin garment bag that was draped across the rocking chair in the corner.

I stood up and stretched, reveling in the feeling of my muscles working. Jacob and I would have to have a proper run this afternoon. My body was singing for it. Jacob. The mere thought of him brought blood to my cheeks in a burning rush. My stomach fluttered and my already rapid heart sped. That was an odd feeling. When had that started? I shrugged it off and wandered over to the rocking chair.

I pulled the garment bag from its resting place and took a deep breath, readying myself for whatever horror lay in store for me today. I pinched the zipper and tugged it down, slowly. The breath I hadn't realized that I had been holding whooshed out of me with relief. Finally, a dress without frills. This dress was exquisitely low key, for Alice, anyway. The dress was made of a nude colored chiffon embroidered with elegant silver designs and had a lace underlay. It was stunning really and boasted what was sure to be designer tags.

I carefully pulled it over my head and smoothed the soft fabric down. I turned to the full-length mirror beside my bed. The color of the dress set off my skin beautifully and made my bronze hair seem richer. Alice knew how to compliment people with clothes, that was for sure. I picked up the antique silver brush on my nightstand and ran it through my curls gently, securing a portion of my hair back with an ivory comb. There, all dressed.

I made my bed and shut the door behind me. My parents were in the living room, dressed and ready to make the short trek up to the big house where the rest of our family waited. My mother handed me a small plate with a sliver of my birthday cake which I took and ate. It was good. The dough was soft, and the ivory icing was sweet, but not overpowering.

_Did you make this, Daddy_? I asked him as I finished the rest of it.

_Esme_ , he replied with a soft smile for our doting, homey matriarch, _She decided to try her hand at pastries_.

_Then I must tell her what a wonderful job she has done of it_ , I replied.

My mother sighed, looking between the two of us with adoring exasperation, "What are you two talking about this time?"

"Esme's delectable new hobby," Dad replied with a chuckle, "Forgive us, it was rude not to include you."

"I'm used to it by now," Mom shrugged gracefully, "It's been exactly a year since she's been able to read minds like you."

"It has been exactly a year, hasn't it?" My father mused and my mother nodded.

With the dawn of my second birthday, I had awoken to the sound of voices. My family's, to be precise. At first, I thought that I had fallen asleep in the big house only to discover that I was in my own room. When I had walked out into the living room, my father had caught the bewildered and frightened look in my eyes and worried about me, asking if I was alright. I had answered him aloud, understanding at once what had happened. I had heard his mental question as clearly as if he had spoken aloud, though his lips never moved.

How my parents had stared at me that morning! They immediately rushed me up to the big house to consult my grandfather on the matter. His theory was that I had inherited my father's ability through my genetic links to him and that it must have come on as a result of my development. But they were worried, my parents and my grandfather. 

And I understood the reason behind their concern. They feared the Volturi and so did I. They feared that somehow, the Royal Coven would discover my new abilities and come back to our peaceful home. They feared a repeat of the fight we so nearly avoid only three years ago. The only reason we escaped unharmed was our numbers and my mother, who, with her amazing vampiric abilities, had frightened the Volturi away. I'm not sure that they would allow such a display of weakness a second time.

I felt a cold hand caress my cheek and I came back to the present. My father was gazing down at me with fierce eyes.

"Don't think of them, Renesmee," he said gently, his voice and the look in his eyes clashing horribly, "They can't ever harm you. Not while we still live."

My mother hissed, her arm wrapping around my shoulders, hugging me to her. She didn't need to read minds to know what the subject of the last exchange was. Her cool lips pressed against my temple.

"If anyone tries to hurt you, Ness, I'll rip their throats out myself," she said with the edge of a growl in her voice.

"I know you will," I smiled, "But I wasn't really worried about it. I was only remembering my second birthday when we found out that I could read minds like Daddy, too. The Volturi thing was just a follow up memory."

My mother relaxed against me, still holding me to her body, "Good. Let's get to the house before Alice rips _our _throats out."__

____

____

I laughed and nodded my head, "Yes. We wouldn't want that, would we?"

And with that, we left our cozy cottage and ran to the big house where a buzz of excitement sang through the air from a mile away.


	3. Surprise

We hit the porch at didn't need to pause to open the door. It swung open wide for us and we slowed to a walk to pass the threshold. As soon as I was inside the door, I was swept up into warm, strong arms. Jacob picked me up from the ground and spun me around once before replacing me on the floor. I beamed up at him, that odd fluttering in my stomach blossomed to life when I looked up at his handsome face.

"Happy birthday, Nessie!" He crowed.

I laughed, "Thank you, Jacob."

"Get out of my way, mutt," Rosalie waved an imperious hand at him and Jacob scowled but moved.

Rosalie embraced me gently, "Happy birthday, Renesmee. We have a surprise for you."

"What surprise?" I asked, looking at parents.

My mother's impish grin told me that I could hear no one's thoughts, now.

"Mom," I whined, "That's cheating!"

"Ha!" she snorted, "Me? Cheating? Ha!"

"Come with me," Rosalie smiled, taking my hand and leading me through the empty living room.

Alice assaulted us before we got to the door into the kitchen, "I got it!"

And then she jumped at me, covering my eyes with her cold hands as Rosalie led me through the kitchen. I could hear hearts beating, hear breath being drawn. My own heart began to jump with excitement. They should have known that they couldn't conceal everything from me. I was half-vampire. I had enhanced scenes, too.

And then Alice's hands fell away from my eyes. The kitchen was packed to bursting with bodies. The Denali Clan, which now included Garrett, beamed at me along with my Grandpa Charlie and my Grandma of a year and a half, Sue Clearwater. Seth was rocking back and forth on the balls of his toes next to a sullen Leah and her mate, Cada. I let off an excited squeal and pulled away from Rosalie's hand, trying to reach each person and everyone all at once.

"Denali cousins!" I cried as I hugged each one in turn.

"Happy birthday, mi querido," Carmen said when I embraced her.

"Thank you, Carmen," I replied.

"How’re you doin’, squirt?" Garrett asked as he ruffled my hair.

I laughed and smoothed down the misplaced strands of hair, "You can't call me that anymore, Garrett."

"I guess you're right," he smiled, hugging Kate closer to himself.

"You're really shooting up," Kate agreed.

"And she's getting prettier every day," Tanya remarked, making me blush.

"What about us, kid?" Grandpa Charlie interrupted.

He and Sue sat at the breakfast table alongside Leah and Cada. Charlie had come up with some pretty creative theories as to my unnatural growth spurts, but none of them were correct. No one bothered to tell him the truth. He was safe that way. He was just content to have his daughter in his life and pleased to know his granddaughter. He did know that I was his biological granddaughter. He had known since the first time that he had laid eyes on me, even if he didn't know how it was possible. The math didn't quite add up.

Sue was still hesitant to be here. She knew exactly what my family and I were. The fact that she was here at all spoke to the depth of love that she had for my grandfather. He had wanted to be here and so she had gone with him, all ill will set aside.

Leah, on the other hand...Well, I suppose it could be said that she was here for the same reason as her mother. Love and loyalty. Her mate, Cada, was intrigued with my family and I. He knew what we were, as well. Of course, he was as much a part of the mythical world as most of the room. He was a shapeshifter, too, just like Leah and my Jacob, only his brand of animal was a bear. He was about as tall as my Jacob at around six feet, seven inches and had medium length dirty blonde hair and lovely hazel eyes. He was also very kind. 

"I'm sorry, Grandpa," I smiled, hugging him tightly and giving Sue a polite smile.

She didn't even flinch when I came close to her anymore. What an improvement.

"Hey, Uncle Seth," I said, throwing my arms around him, too.

"Hey, Nessie," he beamed, pleased with the title I had given him.

He had been the one who was most pleased with Sue and Charlie getting married. Their marriage meant that he and my father could be family. Seth really respected my father.

"Leah," I greeted her.

She gave me cool eyes and then turned her face away to gaze out the window, her shoulder's stiff with discomfort. Cada shook his head at her with a crooked smile on his face. He placed a hand on her shoulder and she instantly relaxed under his touch. It made me smile to see the look of perfect contentment in her eyes when she looked at Cada. No matter how much she loathed me and my family, I could never hate her. She was just as much a part of my family as anyone else here.

As I watched Leah and Cada, I felt an odd constriction in my chest. I pulled my eyes away from the happy couple and looked at Jacob. He gave me a huge grin and I smiled back, pulse racing, butterflies dancing in my stomach. My face flushed and I dropped my gaze to the floor.

"Thank you for coming, everyone," I said to the room at large.

As my eyes roamed over the Denali clan, my gaze stopped on Eleazar. He was staring at me with a fierce concentration on his face. His eyes were tight around the edges, as if he were worrying about something very serious. He pushed away from the counter that he had been leaning against and walked past me to my parents behind me.

"May I have a word with you," he said to my parents, "And please, Bella, keep your shields up."

His eyes fell on me without subtlety. My parent’s faces were immediately concerned and the three of them disappeared. I heard the front door close and knew that they would not speak until I was out of earshot. I frowned after them. What was wrong?

Jacob was suddenly at my side, taking my hand and leading me to the empty chair beside the one he had been sitting at. Esme appeared then, intent on distracting my grandfather from the strange exchange. She laid a large platter of food: steaks, baked potatoes, and corn, onto the table.

"Well, dig in everyone," she beamed, "I hope you all enjoy it."

"Smells great, Esme," Jacob said, grabbing his fork and knife.

"Thank you, Jacob," Esme smiled before flitting back to Carlisle's side where he stood in front of the island.

I sat beside Jacob at the table but did not eat. Everyone was used to this by now. Jacob's large hand closed around mine, making my heart thrum.

 _You look really pretty today_ , Jacob said to me and my cheeks burned.

I heard a low growl from somewhere and knew that my father had heard Jacob's comment, too. Jacob chuckled to himself but released my hand, concentrating on his second T-bone steak instead.

My parents came back into the room, Eleazar with them. His face was a perfect blank and he didn't look at me as he went to Carmen. I could hear her curiosity but nothing from him. I turned to my parents and got silence.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Don't worry about that now," my father said gently, though his eyes were as tight as Eleazar's had been, "Just enjoy your party, sweetie."

I turned wary eyes back to the table. Jacob's hand touched mine again in an attempt to ease my worry. I turned my hand and laced my fingers with his. It felt good to hold his hand like this.

 _It will be okay_ , he said and I nodded.

Suddenly, I couldn't wait for the party to end.

~*~

After the humans and wolves ate, Esme produced a much larger version of the cake that I had received this morning. My Jacob at half the cake himself. When cake was done, it was on to the presents. 

I received quite a few books, including a first edition of _The Princess Bride_ from Carlisle and Esme. Aunt Alice gave me more clothes, unsurprisingly. Grandpa Charlie gave me a new drawing pad and some very nice colored pencils. The Denali’s presented me with a beautiful violin which I suspected was a genuine antique. I thanked everyone for their gifts with true gratitude in my heart. 

"Goodbye, honey," Grandpa Charlie said as I hugged him goodbye, "I hope you enjoy your sketch book."

"I will, Grandpa," I replied, "I'll make something for you and Sue."

"See ya later, Nessie," Seth chimed.

"Always a pleasure," Cada nodded to me.

I returned his nod, "Safe trip home."

Cada smiled at me and Leah rolled her eyes. My family and I stood on the porch, watching our mortal guests as they left. I could feel Jacob in the doorway behind us.

"You should have gone with them, Jake," my father said.

"Not until I hear what was said," he countered, "If it's about Nessie, I need to know."

"It's...nothing bad," my father hedged, though his tone suggested otherwise.

"Let's discuss this inside," Carlisle said.

We all filed into the open living room, taking seats where we could find them. I ended up leaning against Jacob's legs across from my parents. My mom was holding my father's hand in what looked like a vice grip. I swallowed hard. This was going to be bad news. I could feel it.

"Well," Jacob exploded after a very pregnant silence.

My father took a deep, unneeded breath, "It seems that Renesmee has gained another ability."

"Which is?" Carlisle asked, looking to Eleazar rather than my father.

"She's a shield," Eleazar replied, "Like her mother."

"So, she has three gifts?" Carmen breathed.

Eleazar nodded solemnly.

I couldn't breathe. And that was bad because I actually needed it. Jacob ran a hand through my curls, causing my breath to whoosh out of me in a ragged gasp.

"I suppose that makes sense," Carlisle was saying, "She is a hybrid and we know little of her kind. Perhaps this is normal with them, the inheriting of their parent’s gifts as they grow, if any were present, of course."

Eleazar was nodding, "Perhaps."

"But what does that mean for Renesmee?" Tanya asked.

I looked at my father. He was worried about the Volturi. My mother's gift had failed her in her stress. Of course, I still couldn't hear her unless I was physically touching her.

"The Volturi," I breathed for everyone.

"If those old suck heads come back here, we won't allow it," Jacob growled, "The packs will stop them if it kills us."

"Please, don't," I said, "Don't say that."

I couldn't imagine losing Jacob. He was too important to me.

"The Volturi can't know," Alice said, "They don't have the resources to keep tabs on us from that far away."

"But what if they come back?" Rosalie asked, "I'm sure that they want Bella now that they know what she can do."

"And Renesmee," Jasper replied, "Aro made it obvious that he was interested in her, too."

I shuddered and huddled closer to Jacob's legs. I was suddenly in his lap, tucked in his large arms. He held me as if he would never let me go and I felt utterly safe in his arms.

"They can't know," Alice tapped her head, "Trust me, I've been keeping an eye on them."

"You said I was a shield," I said, peaking at Eleazar past Jacob's massive arms, "But I haven't kept anyone out."

"Edward," Eleazar asked, "Can you hear her?"

My father focused on me and I thought about him and momma and how much I loved them. He smiled then.

"I can hear her," he nodded, the smile still on his lips.

"I suppose there is some limit to her ability, but she is a shield," Eleazar asserted, "I can feel it."

"Limit?" I asked, "Like what?"

"I do not know, child," Eleazar sighed, "Perhaps you must be under some sort of attack for your shield to make itself known, like a defense mechanism in only the most extreme of cases."

"We can find out," Kate smiled.

"No, Kate," my mother hissed.

"Then how will we know, Bella?" Kate asked, "You know that I don't want to hurt her. I could never want that..."

... _But it may be necessary_ , she finished the sentence in her mind.

My father sighed, "You're right, Kate."

"What did she say?" my mother demanded.

"That it might be necessary for us to try," I replied, "And I agree with her."

"Renesmee," my mother began.

"Please, Momma?" I asked, untangling myself from Jacob's arms, "I want to know what I can do...if I need it."

"You won't need it," my mother replied, "We'll keep you safe."

"No," I shook my head, "I need to learn how to take care of myself."

She fell silent then, looking away from me and at my father, her eyes clearly asking for some help. My father looked down at her, back at me and then back at her again.

 _Please, Daddy_ , I said, _I don't want to have to put you and momma at risk if I get attacked_.

My father sighed.

"Edward," my mother prompted.

"I still think we should let her try," he said.

My mother looked away from him, defeated, "Fine. But I'll be right there to help if something goes wrong."

"Thank you, Momma," I beamed, turning to Kate, "Shall we?"

Kate stood up and I mirrored her. We headed to the small clearing of space near the door. I readied myself for her blow as she held her hand up. My mother was just behind her, watching with nervous eyes.

"I'm using the low setting, Bella," Kate said as she rolled her eyes, "Are you ready, Renesmee?"

I nodded once.

Kate stretched her hand toward me, and I stood firm. I focused all of my attention into not feeling her attack. Her cold skin touched my arm and I felt...nothing. Kate smiled and pulled her hand away.

"Want to try the high setting?" she teased.

"Go for it," I shrugged.

She touched me again and still I felt nothing. Hmm.

"See," Kate beamed at my mother, "Nothing to worry about, Bella. I guess the shield only kicks in when she needs it."

My mother relaxed and put her arms around me, leading me back to our family. I sat down in my original place by Jacob's legs.

"I'm glad that we figured that out," my father sighed.

“Still,” Carlisle spoke, “I think we should conduct some more experiments like this, just to figure out her limits.”

"Me too," I nodded, "Talk about a birthday surprise."

The tension in the room eased as everyone laughed and I felt content for the moment. I would be okay. There was nothing that the Volturi could do to me to hurt me, at least where powers of the mind were concerned. That meant that I was safe from virtually all of the Volturi's guard and Aro himself. I relaxed against Jacob and was content to listen to the chatter that had erupted around the room now that the crisis had been averted, for the moment. A wave of peace stole over the room. I smiled at Jasper and he returned it gently. A haze tugged at my eyes and my eyelids fluttered. I was suddenly so very tired. It wasn't long until I succumbed to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Charlie and Sue got married. Yay!
> 
> 2\. Cada, (pronounced Cay-dah), is Leah's imprint.
> 
> 3\. Renesmee has three abilities; mind reading (like her daddy), shielding (like Bella) and her own power of touch communication.
> 
> 4\. Her shield is complicated. It is much more intricate than Bella's. We'll see more of that later, though.


	4. Nightmare

It was dark and cold in the clearing. Snow glittered on the ground in a fresh sheen of perfect silver in the pale glow of the moon. The clouds were thin as they drifted over the moon, veiling her, giving the clearing a haze appearance. The wind blew the trees, making them rustle ominously. I strained to hear any other sound. The space between my shoulder blades itched, as if someone were staring me down. The feeling was so intense that it made me turn.

As I made the motion, the scenery changed with the movement of my body. I was still in the clearing, however, as I faced the space that had once been behind me, a very different image sprang to meet me. The sky was alive with vivid red-orange flames that burned hot. Sweet smoke smoldered down my throat, making me choke and cough. I squinted through the smoke that stung my eyes, causing them to blur with tears.

I could see what fed the flames now and I wish that I hadn't but now that I had seen it, I couldn't un-see it. Bodies were burning around me and not just any bodies, but those of my family. The closest pyre to me was what was left of my mother. She gazed back at me with wide, horror filled eyes, her mouth opening and closing with words that she could not form because her chest was ablaze with fire. She reached for me, her pale arm lighting as she moved. I stumbled backwards, away from the flames, horror and pain tearing through my heart in equal measure. My foot slipped on something and I fell backward to the earth.

I landed in a thick, hot liquid. Before I could think to stop myself, I looked down to see what I had landed in. The scream tore itself from my throat on its own accord. I scrambled away from Jacob's brutalized and torn body on my hands and knees. My back met something solid, bringing another scream from me as I flinched away. A soft, cruel chuckle met my ears and I looked up to see milky red eyes gleaming down at me, fire reflecting in his irises like the pits of Hell.

Aro smiled down at me as if he were delighted to see me and as if we were not on a killing field but rather sitting down to tea. He extended his chalky hand to me, that friendly smile still on his face amidst the carnage.

"Now will you join with us, dear Renesmee," he said, his voice that of a reprimanding yet oh so understanding parent.

I opened my mouth and only screaming came out.

"Renesmee," someone called to me, "Renesmee, angel, wake up."

I could still only see Aro's smiling face. Cold hands gripped my shoulders and I thrashed against the touch. Those strong but gentle hands held me to the bed as I struggled against my captor.

"Renesmee," that familiar voice called again, soothing, "Baby, wake up. It's alright. You're alright. Wake up, now."

My eyes snapped open then, my breath coming in ragged gasps of air that still stung with smoke. The acrid stench of burning flesh and death stained my nose. My father was gazing down at me with worried, golden eyes. My mother's face hovered over his shoulder, her hand resting on my cheek. I could feel the itch of dried tears on my cheeks. So relived was I to see my parents alive that fresh tears welled up and spilled from my eyes anew.

I flung myself at my father and he caught me easily. I wrapped one arm around him firmly and reached for my mother with the other. She came to me without question, sitting beside me so that I could hold both of my parents to me without much strain. My mother ran her hand through my hair in an attempt to sooth me, whispering nonsensical words to me softly. I couldn't touch them long enough, couldn't press enough of them to me.

My father pulled away from me and I let him, keeping my hand on his arm. He peered at me, his brow furrowed in deep concentration. My mother still raked her hand through my curls as she re-positioned herself beside me, sliding one arm around my shoulder and pressing the line of our sides together.

"Tell us," she said to me, her voice gentle.

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. I wasn't sure that I wanted to relive the dream again, even to retell it but I did what I was asked. I pressed my a hand to each of their cheeks and allowed the nightmare to replay for them. My father hissed in agony when he saw my mother burning and more tears spilled out from behind my closed lids. The dream ended and I let out a shuddering breath, dropping my hands and opening my eyes to my room, which had turned gray in the early morning light.

I was immediately pressed between my parents as my father embraced both my mother and I. I clung to them again, reveling in the feeling of their living bodies against mine. The more I touched them, the more reassured I was that it had only been a dream and nothing more. And then concern twisted my gut again. I turned my face up to stare at my father and he met my eyes, his brow creased again. He had caught my question and was worrying over it now, too. Why hadn't he seen my dream before I had shown it to him?

 _Concerns for another time_ , he said to me and I nodded once.

My mother hadn't noticed our silent exchange which could only mean that she was caught up in her own worry. I snuggled against her body and she blinked down at me, her eyes refocusing as if she were waking from her own dream. She smiled down at me and pressed her lips to my temple.

"Don't worry about the Volturi, honey," she said, "I'm sure that they won't come back here for quite some time, if at all."

There was a hollow note to her voice when she said those words, as if she didn't quite believe them either. I gave her a skeptical look and she laughed lightly.

"If they plan anything, we'll know," she said, sure of her words this time, "Alice is keeping an eye on them."

"I guess you're right," I allowed, "I don't know why I had that dream..."

"It was just a dream," my father said, "Nothing more."

I nodded again. Trying desperately not to think of why he couldn't see my dream when I had. Concerns for another time, as he'd said. I saw him nod once in a silent agreement. My mind strayed to the subject of my newfound ability, of my shield. Perhaps that was what had prevented him from seeing my dream. But why would I keep that information hidden, even subconsciously?

I could tell that my father had followed my mental path. He was deep in consideration of my musings. He finally made up his mind to confer with my grandfather and maybe even Eleazar. My father placed a gentle hand on my cheek and kissed my forehead.

"Try to get some more sleep, sweetheart," he said, "The hour is still early."

"Okay," I replied, frowning as my mother began to pull away from me.

"You know where to find us," she smiled, kissing my cheek, "I love you."

"More than my own life," I replied, touching the locket that she had given me on my first Christmas which I never took off, "Both of you."

My father smiled brilliantly from his position at my door. My mother was at his side in seconds and they both disappeared behind the wood of the door. I frowned after them, their absence making me uneasy. This was ridiculous. I was nearly grown up, at least as far as my physical and mental development was concerned. Why was I acting like such a child?

A sharp tapping at my window caused me to startle and I hung my head in shame as I realized that it had only been a tree branch blown by the wind. I lay back against my pillow and turned over on my side, facing the wall where the edge of my bed met it. In the corner, I saw something that I hadn't had need of for nearly half a year. I reached for the plush wolf stuffy that Jacob had given me last Christmas. It's fur was a deep red-brown, not quite the color of his russet fur but close enough to make the resemblance apparent.

I hugged it close to myself and snuggled against the quilts. Jacob's scent still clung to it like a long-forgotten perfume. I breathed it in, smiling as I closed my eyes. I used his scent to lull me back to sleep, pulling the mixture of earth, moss and the rich, warm musk of his skin around me like a cloak. I found sleep then and it was filled with the rush of green trees and the feel of fur brushing against me as I ran through the woods of my beloved home.


	5. The Talk

I was being watched, of that much I was perfectly certain, however, this was not an ominous feeling. I knew who was in my room, knew it with all of myself. I could hear his strong, steady heart beat and smell his comforting scent, the same scent that I had used to fall asleep.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," Jacob said softly.

My lips turned up in a smile even before my eyelids fluttered open, still heavy with sleep. I peered in the direction that his voice had come from to find my Jacob sitting in the rocking chair. His face split in that adorable goofy grin of his when our eyes met. The butterflies were back. I wished they would go away. They always made me feel odd, like every nerve in my body was tingling. Jacob's smile widened when he heard my heart race even faster than its normal speed. Really, what was going on with me? Was I ill?

Jacob stood up and had to duck his head a little to walk to my bedside. I sat up against my pillows and beamed at him, my stomach as light as air as he sat down next to me on the bed. He smiled again when he saw the wolf laying next to me on the rumpled sheets. He picked it up and examined it.

"Rusty is getting some more use, I see?" He teased me. Rusty was the name I had given the wolf because of the color of its fur.

"Yeah," I said sheepishly, embarrassed.

"Let's see that nightmare, then," he said to me, placing Rusty back on the bed.

I frowned at him, "You know, sometimes it's really annoying that you and my mother are best friends. She tells you everything."

"Actually," Jacob smiled, "It was your dad who told me about the dream."

The shock must have been plain on my face because Jacob laughed.

"The look on your face," he guffawed again, "Your father and I don't hate each other. Not anymore, at least."

"It's still weird to think of you two sitting down to have a conversation," I shrugged, "About anything...Including me."

Jacob shook his head, "Stop stalling, baby girl. Tell me about that dream."

I huffed a breath of dejection. I really didn't want to do this again. I looked up at Jacob and wished that I hadn't. He had sensed my hesitation and had moved on to using his "puppy-dog pout" on me. I sighed, defeated and rested my hand against his cheek. As I brushed my skin against his, an almost electric current shot through my body, bringing a gasp from me. I started to pull away, but Jacob's large hand was on mine, pressing my hand against his face.

"Show me," he said, his voice gentle.

The way he was looking at me made me feel...shy? I had never felt that way around him before, so why the change now? Snap out of it, Renesmee and show him the dream already! His black eyes softened and a half-smile tugged at his lips. Was I projecting already? I closed my eyes and tried to think past the feeling of his hand on mine. It was very difficult, but I managed. I pulled the horrible dream back to the fore of my mind and allowed it to flow into Jacob.

He sucked in a harsh breath as the terrible images passed into his mind. A fine trembling began in him and a low snarl ripped from his lips when Aro's face appeared. The dream ended and I opened my eyes. Jacob's hand slid down my arm, raising goosebumps in its wake. He pressed me against his broad, powerful chest and held me close. The trembling hadn't stopped. I lay my head against his chest and listened to that strong, steady heartbeat.

"I"ll never let them take you," he said, "Never. I'll protect you, even if..."

"Do not finish that sentence, Jacob Black," I hissed, hearing the dreaded last words in his mind, "Didn't you see how much it hurt me to see you...dead like that?"

He pulled away from me, his eyes boring into mine, as if he could see my soul through my eyes. Maybe he could. His hand found my cheek this time and he ran his thumb across my cheek bone. The gesture caused my eyes to close. Those aggravating butterflies came again.

"It would really upset you that much," Jacob asked, his face so close I could feel his warm breath against my face.

"You saw it," I replied, not daring to open my eyes now.

"Look at me, Ness," he said tenderly.

I shook my head, sending my curls cascading around my shoulders. His chuckle vibrated through my body, sending my heart into a mad dash. My bedroom door banged open and made me jump a mile out of my skin. I looked toward the sound to see my father framed in the doorway. There was a look on his face that I couldn't read and his thoughts were too scrambled to hear clearly.

"You," he said, pointing a finger at Jacob, "Out. Now."

Jacob put his hands in the air as if to show that he was harmless, "Take it easy, Edward."

"I said out." My father's voice was steel with the command.

Jacob got to his feet and eased around my father; his hands still raised in that harmless gesture. Jacob backed out of my line of sight and my father entered the room, closing the door behind him as he came. I could hear my mother and Jacob talking in the living room followed by the shutting of the front door. Neither of them spoke again, at least not where I could hear them, anyway.

"Daddy," I began but he held up a hand to silence me. I didn't try to speak again.

He crossed the room in two strides and sat down beside me on the bed. He looked at me for a long time, his eyes were not angry but almost...almost forlorn. It hurt my heart to see that look in his eyes.

"What's wrong, Daddy?" I asked.

He reached out and tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear, "We need to talk, Renesmee."

Uh-oh. I didn't like the sound of that. Not at all. I caught a glimpse of what this conversation would be about and felt my cheeks catch fire. My father smirked.

"Sometimes I'm glad that you have inherited my abilities," he said gently, "But now is not one of them."

"I'm not going to get out of this, am I?" I asked.

"No," he smiled, "I'm afraid not, though, I am wondering whether it would be better if your mother discusses this with you."

"Just say what you need to say," I sighed, "It's not going to be comfortable, whoever I hear it from."

My father pinched the bridge of his nose, something he only did when he was uncomfortable.

"How do I start?" He asked of himself, "Normal parents have around twelve years to prepare this conversation, not three."

Yes, I definitely didn't want to hear this.

"I don't want to do this, either," my father replied, "But it seems like it's the time. You are already so grown up, Renesmee. This needs to happen now."

"Maybe Mom should do it..." I interjected, feeling my cheeks glowing with embarrassment.

"If that's what you want..." my father nearly sighed with relief.

"That depends," I said.

"On?" He asked.

"Who is the least likely to kill Jacob?" I asked.

"No one will kill Jacob," my father replied, though his thoughts betrayed him.

"I have my answer," I replied with narrowed eyes.

"Don't look at me like that," he said, "You can't possibly understand."

"Well if I can't understand that, then why are we still sitting here?" I retorted.

"Touché," my father allowed and then replied sarcastically; "It's good to see that you have inherited your mother's temper."

"Sometimes I think it's yours," I said.

"Enough of this," he shook his head, "Let's get this over with."

"Please," I nodded. I wanted this in the past.

"You know that Jacob imprinted on you, correct?" My father asked.

I nodded, "You and Momma said that he would always be in my life, that he would always be there to keep me happy and protect me."

Dad nodded, "It goes a bit deeper than that. You're the whole world to him, Renesmee, no, his whole universe."

I smiled to hear that. I knew I was loved, but to be the center of someone's universe? Wow. My heart sped up again just thinking about it. My dad closed his eyes and swallowed hard when he heard my heartbeat.

"His feelings for you, that is to say, since you were so young when he first imprinted, he was like a big brother to you. You were the little sister that he needed to look after," Dad continued, "But now that you're physically a teenager...well, let's just say that his feeling will start to turn...less than platonic. If they haven't done so already."

"You mean he'll start to think of me..." I couldn't find the words.

"It means he'll start to develop romantic feelings for you," he rushed on, "When a wolf imprints, it means they've found their perfect mate. Their soul-mate, if you will."

My heart skipped a beat and my stomach felt fluttery again, "Oh."

A short silence stretched between us while his words sunk in.

"Do you understand?" My father asked.

I nodded, "Yes...Is that why I have...is that why my stomach..."

I finally gave up trying to speak my thoughts aloud and opted to show him instead. I pressed my hand to his cheek and concentrated on my feelings, of how they felt and formed them into pictures in my mind. My father took my hand in his and pulled it away, nodding. He had that heartbreaking sadness in his eyes again.

"Yes," he said, "That's why you feel that way. Though, the imprint doesn't affect you in the same way as it does him. You don't have to be with Jacob. You still have a choice in the matter."

"But Jacob doesn't?" I asked.

"No." My father replied, "He can't see any other girl in that way but you."

"Then what choice do I have?" I asked, "He's my Jacob, Daddy. I can't even fathom not having him in my life."

"I see," my father said gently, "Well, that's fine. It's not like it was unexpected."

"I sense a but," I hedged.

"But," my father half-smiled, "It's still your choice, in the end. I don't want you to feel obligated to be with him."

"I don't," I said firmly, sure down to the very core of my being that I could never be with anyone else.

My father nodded once when he heard my mind.

"Are we done now?" I asked hopefully.

"Sadly, no," he sighed, "Now that it is quite apparent on what your feelings are, we have to discuss the...technicalities involved."

I groaned, hiding my face in my hands.

"I only ask one thing," my father said.

I peeked up at him through my fingers, "What?"

"No sex until you're married," he replied firmly, "No physically relationship of any kind until you're at least sixteen, physically, at least."

My face must have been the temperature of the sun, "That's two things."

"Promise me," he said, ignoring my quip.

I couldn't talk, I was so embarrassed.

"Promise me, Renesmee," he pressed.

"I promise," I breathed, hardly able to make the words come out.

"Okay," he smiled, relieved, "Good. Thank you."

"No problem," I replied, "Are we done now?"

"Yes," he smiled, "I think we're done now."

"Thank you," I huffed.

My father stood then, but he didn't leave right away. He looked down at me with his brow creased and that sad look in his eyes.

"I only wish I had a little more time," he said softly.

"I'm not leaving you, Daddy," I shook my head, finally able to understand the sadness now, "I'll always be your little girl and nothing and no one can change that."

He smiled at me again, touching my cheek gently before he went for the door. At the same moment, I could hear my mother and Jacob coming back toward the house. Their voices were calm but I knew that they had had the same conversation as my father and I. My father smiled at me once more before he closed the door silently behind him, leaving me alone in my room with only my thoughts for company. Well, at least now the mystery behind the strange reactions to Jacob's presence had been resolved. The only problem now, what were we going to do with that new knowledge?


	6. Okay, This Is Waaay Uncomfortable

**Jacob:**

I ran through the trees at blinding speed. It was amazing to run like this without anyone else in my head. It had been pretty quiet lately, with Leah having finally found someone she was happy with, Seth being back in school and Quil and Embry popping in only now and then. Besides, we really didn't need the packs anymore. There was no threat.

I hit the Cullen's lawn and didn't bother stopping. I knew where Nessie was. She was probably still asleep, anyway. There was the river. Ugh. I'd probably have to ask Esme to build a bridge over this thing or something. I swam through it, no problem, but I hated always showing up at Bella's dripping wet. There was the cottage. I stopped a couple yards from the door so that I could phase and get dressed. I had a small collection of clothes stashed inside a wicker basket by the house. Bella's idea.

The door opened as I stretched my hand toward the handle. Bella stood in the doorway, towel in hand. I took it from her with a smile.

"Thanks, Bells," I said.

"No problem, Jake," she said, stepping aside so I could enter, "She's still asleep."

"I figured as much," I said, "Hey, Edward."

"Jacob," he nodded.

"You guys gonna hunt today, or what?" I asked them, seeing the black in their eyes.

"Yes," Edward replied, "We would have left already, but we were waiting for you."

"Really, why?" I asked.

"Renesmee had a very bad nightmare last night," Edward said, "We tried to calm her down, but I don't think we succeeded very well. We were hoping that you could give it a try."

"I'll do my best," I replied.

"Are you done with that?" Bella asked, pointing to the towel in my hand.

I shrugged, "Yeah, the run pretty much dried me off this time."

She took the towel from me and I followed her down the hallway. I stopped at Nessie's door. I could hear her deep, even breaths and smiled to myself. I opened the door silently and slipped inside, careful not to wake her. I sat in the rocking chair in the corner of the room, waiting for her to wake up.

She was so angelic when she slept. Her bronze curls were fanned out across her pillow, even though her head was turned slightly to the left. Her perfect red lips were slightly parted as she slept, her arms laying limply at her sides. Her body was nearly as long as the bed, now. She'd need a bigger one soon, if she kept growing taller. Personally, I felt that she wasn't going to get much taller. Bella was only 5'4". That's about what Nessie was now.

Her chest rose higher than the normal rate as her breathing hitched. She was waking up.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," I said to her, my voice soft so that I wouldn't scare her, though I was pretty sure that she knew I was there.

I saw her lips turn up in a smile even before her eyes opened. Those gorgeous chocolate brown eyes found me and I felt myself beam. Her already spastic heart beat went wild when she saw me and that made me smile even wider. Ever since her birthday, she'd been reacting to me differently, not that I was complaining. It was a good change. I think.

I rose from my seat and had to duck my head to get to her. For whatever reason, the ceiling in her room was a little lower than the rest of the cottage. I finally made it to her side and sat down. I saw something red-brown and furry laying beside her on the bed and I smiled as I realized that it was the stuffed wolf that I had given her last Christmas. I picked it up and looked it over, just to have something to do with my hands.

"Rusty is getting some more use, I see?" I teased her. I hadn't seen her sleep with it in a while.

"Yeah," she said quietly, almost like she was embarrassed.

"Let's see that nightmare, then," I said, tucking Rusty away beside her.

She frowned at me almost disapprovingly, "You know, sometimes it's really annoying that you and my mother are best friends. She tells you everything."

"Actually," I smiled, "It was your dad who told me about the dream."

The shock on her face was absolutely adorable. I just couldn't stop myself from laughing.

"The look on your face," I crowed, "Your father and I don't hate each other. Not anymore, at least."

"It's still weird to think of you two sitting down to have a conversation," she shrugged, "About anything...Including me."

I shook my head at her, her attempt to derail me was useless, "Stop stalling, baby girl. Tell me about that dream."

She huffed at me and I could see Bella's stubbornness peaking out through her eyes. I could see that she was going to be difficult so I pulled out my ultimate weapon, the one thing that she couldn't resist. The "puppy-dog pout." She looked at me and sighed, her face crumbling with defeat. She lay her hand against my cheek and as her skin brushed mine, an electric shock ran through my body. That had never happened before and it brought a gasp from Renesmee's mouth. She started to pull away, but I stopped her, placing my hand over hers and pressing it against my skin.

"Show me," I said, gently.

What I saw was my face reflected back to me, the way she saw me. She was feeling..shy around me. She'd never felt that way around me before. I half-smiled at the images in my head, the way her cheek flushed with color when she looked at me now. She closed her eyes and my face vanished into darkness for a moment, with momentary flickers of what her hand looked like in mine. Some more darkness and then the dream began.

I saw Renesmee alone in the clearing where we had confronted the old leeches three years ago. It was covered with snow, as it had been then. She was scared, I could tell by the look in her eyes as she turned around. The clearing changed around her as she moved, the snow melting from the ground as flames licked up into the night. She caught sight of what was burning and I sucked in a harsh breath as I saw Bella, still alive but burning reaching toward her daughter. Renesmee scrambled backward but slipped and fell in a pool of blood. My blood. She screamed and it was a loud, piercing thing that hurt my heart to hear. Her face was so terrified and hurt that I could hardly breathe.

She crawled away from my mangled body only to collide with something solid and black. Aro, the leader of the old suck heads looked down at her with a greedy, pleased look in his milky red eyes. A snarl pulled itself out of my throat before I could stop it. I could feel myself trembling and did my best not to lose it as the dream-leech reached for Renesmee, asking her to join him. The dream ended and my eyes snapped open at the same time that Nessie's did. I slid my hand down her arm, and gripped her shoulder gently before I pressed her against me. I was still shaking with rage but at that moment, I needed to show her that I would never let anything happen to her. I would protect her, whatever the cost.

"I"ll never let them take you," I said, my words echoing my thoughts, "Never. I'll protect you, even if..."

"Do not finish that sentence, Jacob Black," she snapped at me, "Didn't you see how much it hurt me to see you...dead like that?"

I pulled away from her, looking into those deep brown eyes. All I saw when I looked in them was pain and fear and it was fear for me. Pain for the loss of my life. I lifted my hand to her cheek, her skin warm to the touch. The contrast between the colors of our skin was striking but lovely. Russet and cream. I ran my thumb across the high, sculpted cheekbones that marked her as Edward's child. Her eyes fluttered closed under my touch, her heart racing and nearly silent with its speed.

"It would really upset you that much," I asked, bending a little closer to her.

Had she always been this beautiful? Had her cheeks always been so rosy, her scent always this intoxicating? Of course the answer must have been yes....then why did everything seem so much stronger now? Why was her image so much clearer?

"You saw it," she said, keeping her eyes shut tight against me.

"Look at me, Ness," I said softly. I needed to see those eyes. I need to know what she was hiding from me now.

She shook her head, sending all of those perfect bronze curls tumbling over her shoulders like a living curtain. I chuckled at her willful response and her heart raced for me again. It made my own heart skip a beat, just to get that reaction from her. Her bedroom door banged open then, making her jump and me drop my hand. I could see Edward in the doorway, his posture was rigid and I could see the anger blazing in his eyes. I had seen that look directed at me too many times not to recognize it instantly. Oops.

"You," he said, jabbing a finger at me, "Out. Now."

I put my hands up in surrender, "Take it easy, Edward."

"I said out." his voice was like ice.

I figured I'd better not push my luck and got to my feet, keeping my hands where he could see them. He didn't move from his position in the door so I had to ease out around him. You'd have thought he could move out of the damn way if he wanted me to go that badly. I turned around in time to see Bella roll her eyes at her husband but she held her hand out to me.

"Come on, Jake," she said, "Let's go."

"What did I do?" I asked.

"Just..." She huffed, "Come on. We'll talk outside."

Her eyes darted to Renesmee's closed bedroom door. I nodded and walked with her toward the door. We didn't speak to each other again until we reached the river. Bella sat down on a mossy rock and I mirrored her.

"What was that about?" I asked.

"Erm," Bella said, looking uncomfortable.

She had that look on her face, the one that said that she would be blushing if she still could.

"Talk to me, Bells," I said, "I'm not your bloodsucker, I can't read your mind."

She gave me a sharp look.

"Sorry, habit," I shrugged. Even after three years, I still slipped up ever once in a while. So sue me.

"I don't know how to do this," she said, running her hands through her hair, "This is so....weird!"

"You're a pro at weird, remember," I offered.

"Look, Jake, I know you imprinted on Renesmee and everything, but she's still only a child," Bella ranted, "I know she looks 13, but she's only three! Three, Jake!"

"Whoa!" I gaped, "Slow down, Bella. Rewind for a second."

"Sorry," she replied, "You'd think I'd be okay with this...I mean, I was counting on your commitment to her when...Well..."

"I still don't know what you're talking about," I said because I really didn't.

"Edward thinks that Renesmee might be, um, becomingattractedtoyou," she blurted the rest out in a rush so fast that I missed it.

"I didn't catch the last part," I said, "I may have superhuman speed, but my ears can't follow that. Take a deep breath and talk human slow."

"She has a crush on you!" Bella exploded, "She's starting to like you...romantically."

"Oh," I couldn't keep the smile off my face. I tried. Okay, I didn't try.

"Don't grin like that, Jake," Bella sighed, hiding her face in her hands.

She didn't look at me again. Her shoulder's heaved, like she was crying. Oh man.

"Bella," I said, startled by her reaction, "Bella, don't cry. Hey..."

I laid my hand on her shaking shoulder's. She turned her face toward me and it was sorrow in her eyes. Even though she couldn't cry anymore, it didn't matter. There didn't need to be tears in her eyes to tell me that she was sad.

"What's this for?" I asked, at a loss.

"I'm losing her," she sobbed, tearlessly, "I'm losing her already, Jake. She's only three years old but physically a teenager. Mentally that, too, maybe older. I'm not prepared for this. I thought I'd at least have some time."

"You do have time," I said, "Jeez, Bella, it's not like we're getting married tonight. I don't even know if she'll feel that way about me....later."

Bella gave me the most incredulous look that I had ever seen, "Spare me, Jake."

"I'm serious," I said, "I imprinted on her, not the other way around. She can leave me if she wanted to."

That thought alone was a shot of pain through my heart, like a searing hot blade.

"But she's not going to," Bella shook her head. “You said it yourself once. Who could resist that level of commitment?"

"I hope you're right," I said.

"I'm only asking you for more time with my daughter," Bella said, "That's it. I need a little more time."

"Take all the time you want," I said, "I can wait. I'd wait forever for her. You know that."

Bella smiled at me then, "Thank you."

"You're not going to give me a birds and bees lecture, are you?" I asked.

"Of course not," she smiled, "It's not like you need one, at least not right now."

"And why is that?" I asked, flinching away from the tone her voice had taken on. In that moment, she sounded like a mother.

"Because you won't pursue a romantic relationship with my daughter until she is at least sixteen years old."

I felt my jaw drop to the floor, "I...What? I don't see her that way!"

"Not yet, maybe," she replied, "But she does look like a teenager."

I nodded at that fact, "Was that sixteen years old, as in age or appearance?"

"Jake," my name was a warning.

"I just want to be clear on this subject," I replied frantically, "I don't want to assume anything."

Bella looked at me for a moment, her face considering, "I guess sixteen in appearance."

"Alright," I nodded, "I can deal with that."

"You had better deal with it," Bella replied but she was smiling again.

"It's weird to be best friends with your future mother-in-law," I said, offhandedly.

She hissed, "Don't push your luck, Jacob."

"Why not?" I teased, "It's what I'm good at."

She shook her head with a sigh, "Ain't that the truth? We can probably head back now, if you want."

"Are we done with this awkward conversation?" I asked, hope in my voice.

"Yeah," she nodded, "Let's go. Edward and I have to hunt, and I believe that you have a very platonic date with Renesmee today."

"Yep," I nodded, helping her off the rock, "We're going for a run today."

"She loves your runs together," Bella remarked as we walked back to the cottage at a human pace.

"Good," I smiled, "I live to make her happy."

"I know," Bella smiled, "I hope Edward is done talking to her."

We were at the front door now. I couldn't hear anyone talking. The door opened before either of us reached for it and Edward was there. He and Bella smiled at each other in that way that happy couples do. It used to bother me, seeing that look on people's faces, but now I was waiting to have one of my own.

"She's getting dressed," Edward said to me as I walked into the living room.

"Okay," I replied, sitting in one of the chairs to wait, "Have a good hunt."

"We will," Bella smiled and it was a mischievous grin, "You two be good."

"We always are," I replied, with a mischievous grin of my own.

Bella and Edward disappeared behind the door, Bella's musical laughter echoing after them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just because this had to be shown from Jacob's POV for the laughs.


	7. Crush

I heard a knock on my door as soon as I had secured the ivory ribbon in my hair. Apparently someone was impatient today. I smiled despite myself and opened the door. Jacob loomed in the hallway, looking slightly harassed. I searched his mind for whatever it was that had caused that look and cringed. I had been right. He and my mother did have the talk. Gr-reat.

"You ready yet?" Jacob asked me, giving me a once over, "I see that Alice has allowed you to wear jeans now."

"Yes, thankfully," I sighed, stepping out into the hallway beside him, "Did Mom and Dad leave?"

"Like you don't know," he shook his head at me, that silly smile on his face. The smile that caused the butterflies.

We wandered into the empty living room and got to the door before Jacob opened it for me, bowing low.

"Ladies first," he said in a very bad English accent.

I laughed at him as I walked past him into the gray morning. Or was it afternoon? It was hard to tell in the gray light but I decided that it didn't matter and I threw my arms out behind me, stretching. It felt so wonderful to finally be able to move like this. It had been weeks since I'd had a proper run. I was also going to hunt today. Usually I went with my parents but I wanted to go with Jacob instead.

"I'll give you a head start," Jacob said from behind me.

I turned toward his voice and felt the breath leave my body. He stood behind me, shirtless, his entire upper body was a wash of powerfully defined muscles. Heat came to my face in a flash so violent it actually made me dizzy. I spun around quickly, hoping he didn't notice my reaction just then. As if I should be so lucky.

"What's wrong, Ness?" He asked. I heard the grass whisper as he took a step toward me.

I swallowed my pulse and squeezed my eyes shut. Just breathe, Renesmee. It's not like you haven't seen him without a shirt before. What makes it so special now? Oh, that's right. Now you're all hormonal because of your superhuman growth spurts. Good. Great. Perfect.

His hand touched my shoulder and I jumped like he'd hit me. His hand disappeared. His thoughts were as uncertain as his movement had been and I mental smacked myself. I wasn't the only one who was confused by my new reactions to him.

"I'm sorry, Jacob," I sighed, turning back around to face him.

Thankfully, he'd put his shirt back on. I don't think I'd be able to breathe if he hadn't, let alone talk. What was that word that my mother had used to describe how my father had made her feel? Dazzled? That was it. Jacob dazzled me.

"No, it's cool," he tried for a smile and missed.

"Did I...," I began, stunned because I'm sure that I was wrong, "Did I...hurt your feelings, Jacob?"

"No," he blinked down at me, "Of course not."

He was lying.

"You should know that you can't lie to me, Jay," I said gently, tapping my temple, "Mind reader, remember?"

"What did you call me?" he asked, his mouth lifting in the corner. It was cute.

"Jay," I blushed, realizing what I'd said, "If you don't like it, just tell me and I can call you by your real name. I mean, I figured I should have a nickname for you since you have one for me and I didn't want to call you Jake because that's what my Mom calls you..."

I was babbling. I didn't babble. Ever. The smile was full on his face now. Glad to see that someone was enjoying this.

"Renesmee," he chuckled, shaking his head.

I felt my face turn crimson, "What?"

His chuckle turned into a laugh. He was laughing at me! My face flushed again and it was for an entirely different reason.

"Don't laugh at me," I hissed, "This isn't funny!"

"I disagree," he chortled.

I hissed at him again and turned on my heels. His laughter echoed around me and I flung myself into the trees. As soon as I had started running, his laughter died. He called after me, his voice startled. I ignored him, pushing my legs harder, willing myself to go faster.

The feel of my muscles working was amazing, but it did nothing to help clear my head like I hoped it would. It wasn't long before I heard the dull thud of paws beating earth behind me. I didn't want to talk to him. Not yet. I was still angry that he had laughed at me like that. He was catching me up.

I caught sight of a lower hanging branch on a nearby hemlock tree and flung myself at it. I landed on its mossy bough with all the ease that my vampire genetics had granted me. I hoped from one branch to another, climbing higher and higher. I didn't stop until I climbed to the last branch that I was sure would be sturdy enough to hold my weight.

The wind was much stronger here. It blew the fabric of my shirt around and tugged at the ribbon in my hair. The view I had was breathtaking. I could just make out the huge house that belonged to my family past the winding, shimmering body of the river. Another strong gust of wind tugged at the ribbon, making it slide out of my hair and fly into the sky, twisting around in delicate shapes as it started its decent to the ground.

I settled myself in the tree branch, pressing my back against the truck and leaning against it while I reclined on the bough. A single howl rose into the otherwise silent forest and I smirked a little. Let him be worried. I closed my eyes as the sun made a short appearance in the sky. The first warm rays hit me and I smiled, opening my eyes to look at my skin. It didn't sparkle like my family's skin did, but rather glowed as though I had swallowed a flame that lite me up from the inside out. The moment of sunshine ended as the dark clouds claimed it again.

"Renesmee!" A husky voice boomed into the forest around me, "C'mon, honey, I didn't mean it!"

I shivered when I heard him say honey. That was second on his list of terms of endearment for me. His first being...

"C'mon, baby girl!" He yelled again, "I wasn't laughing at you!"

With each new sentence, the heat of my anger began to fade. Maybe I had been a little rash. To be perfectly honest, I don't even know what set me off like that. He hadn't done anything to elicit such a reaction from me, so why had I felt that way? So many new questions and so few answers. What was happening to me?

"Ness, your parents will kill me if I can't find you!" He shouted, "And you know as well as I do that I don't mean that figuratively!"

I sighed. He was right. If he returned home without me, he'd be dismembered. I decided that I had been wrong and began my descent down the tree, glad that I was wearing jeans instead of the usual sundress. I stopped halfway down, watching Jacob searching for me. He was sans his shirt yet again and my heart rate speed up. He turned toward the sound of my heartbeat and I could see my ivory ribbon in his hand. I smiled a little as I pressed myself against the trunk, hiding in the shadows.

He continued toward me, his head cocked to the side and I stifled a giggle as the wolf image of the movement passed through my mind. He was getting closer now. I carefully, silently edged my way around the tree as he began to circle it, trying to find exactly where I was. His nostrils flared and I cursed his wolf senses. I couldn't sneak up on him, not really. It made hide and seek a real pain when every party involved had superhuman senses and some extra ones, as well.

We nearly made a complete circuit around the tree. I moved a little faster so that his back was facing me. I crouched low on the branch, my muscles bunching, ready for the spring. I leapt lithely from the bough and sailed in the air toward him. He turned at the very last second, catching me in his arms. My momentum brought us to the forest floor, both of us laughing. Jacob held me close to his body, which was only a few degrees hotter than my own and I lay my head against his chest, listening to one of the sounds that I loved most in the world. His heart. His heart which was strong and kind and everything I loved about him.

I frowned at the last thought, suddenly feeling too close to him, too comfortable with laying in his arms like this. It felt...intimate somehow, intimate in a way that we shouldn't be. Not yet, at least. I pushed away from him, getting to my feet in one fluid movement. He didn't move except to put his arms under his head, gazing up at me from the forest floor. As he moved, his exposed chest flexed and I couldn't help but notice. I felt my cheeks flush and I looked away.

 _Are you going to tell me what that was about_? He asked.

I shook my head, crossing my arms over my chest as I looked out into the murky forest.

 _Just tell me. You know you can tell me anything_.

I looked at the moss and fern covered ground and sighed. The truth was, I didn't know what happened back there. I couldn't explain to him because I couldn't explain to myself. Jacob stood up them and stood beside me. He just stood there, close enough that I could feel his body heat beating against mine but not close enough to brush against me by accident.

"I think we have to talk," Jacob said.

Oh. No.

"What about?" I asked softly.

 _I think you know_.

"Please," I said, "Please don't. I don't want to. Not now."

"We need to discuss this sometime," Jacob replied, "Wouldn't you rather get it over and done with?"

"Jacob, please," I pleaded, "It's too embarrassing."

He chuckled softly again, "Oh, I know. I just had to talk to your mom about it."

I buried my face in my hands and slowly pushed them back through my hair, "What exactly do we need to talk about."

"I want to know," Jacob began, hesitating at the end, "I need to know how you...feel about me."

Blood pooled in my cheeks again and I took several calming breaths. How did I feel about him? He was my best friend and my protector. He was always there for me whenever I needed him and stuck around when I didn't. He knew everything about me. He could tell what I was feeling and even what I was thinking sometimes only because he knew me so well and not because of any supernatural gift. He was my hand to hold, the shoulder to cry on and the smile when I was down. He was my everything and I loved him.

I hadn't realized that I had reached for him while I had been thinking all of this. Only when his hand covered mine did I remember what I had done. I was blushing again. I don't think I've ever blushed so much in my entire short life. I began to pull away and just like this morning, he held my hand to his face. He crouched down so that we were nearly the same height, keeping my hand pressed against his cheek the entire time. His black eyes found mine and a brilliant smile lit up his face. A light broke in his eyes, like a sun that found its way through the clouds at last.

"Thank you," he said, "That's all that I needed to hear...er, see."

And then he let my hand go. I pulled it back and held it against my body like it was cold, though it burned with the warmth of his skin. He stood up again, that radiant smile still on his face as he looked down at me.

"Is that all you wanted," I asked.

He nodded.

"Well, now that you know how I feel about you," I began.

"Ness," he chuckled, "You already know that you're the whole world to me."

I smiled, "I guess I did but it's still nice to hear every now and then."

"I'll say it as much as you want me to, baby girl," he vowed.

I smiled again as I looked at the hand that had been cradling his cheek so gently before. I hadn't realized that it had been the hand on which the Quileute bracelet permanently sat. He had given it to me my first Christmas. It was an intricate braided design and was adjustable so that I could always wear it as I grew. This bracelet and my mother's locket never left my person.

"You know what that is, right?" Jacob asked me when he saw me playing with it.

"A Christmas present?" I asked, looking at him.

"It's much more than that," he replied, "That bracelet, it's the like a promise ring. It means that, when you're older and if you want to, well, it means that I'll want to marry you."

"Like an engagement ring?" I asked.

"Something like that, yeah," he nodded, "But that's only if you want to...later. What it means now is that I'll always be there for you, whenever you need me. No matter what."

My heart soared and sank simultaneously. It soared because he had said that we could get married one day. It sank because he said that right now it meant that he'd be there for me. That meant that he didn't love me, not in the way that I loved him. My eyes pricked and I looked down, blinking furiously to keep the tears away but I couldn't. They just continued to build before finally spilling out onto my cheeks.

"Renesmee, what's wrong?" Jacob gaped at me, clearly stunned by my tears.

"Nothing," I sobbed.

"Ness," Jacob said, his tone clearly saying that he knew I was lying, "Talk to me, honey."

"You don't love me," I whispered it.

"What?" He asked, "Of course I do! How could you even think..."

"You just said!" I replied, stomping my foot on the ground.

Jacob didn't reply. Instead, he searched his mind, replaying the conversation, looking for any part of it that I might have misunderstood. He couldn't think of it but I could.

"You said that this bracelet meant that we could get married," I repeated, "But for right now, it meant that you'd be there for me."

A light seemed to come on inside his head, "Oh! Ness, I said that because I don't see you that way yet. You're still too young for me to think of you in those terms...Do you honestly think I'd still be alive right now if I did think of you that way?"

His words did nothing to comfort me. The tears continued to leak out of my eyes, betraying me.

His face softened as he reached for me. He placed his arm around my shoulders and hugged me close to his side.

"Renesmee, I do love you but it’s a very chaste love," he explained, "But, if it makes you feel better, when you're older, that will change. I will love you in a way that will make me want to be your husband above all things but for now...."

"We just can't," I replied, my voice so low that even I could barely hear it.

Jacob heard me though and he nodded, "Right."

"But I love you," I said, "Whenever I see you, my stomach flutters and my pulse speeds up. It's like that when you touch me or when you smile..."

Another smile appeared, causing the reaction that I had just described.

"I love that I can make you feel like that but I still can't change the fact that I don't feel that way," he said and there was real regret there, "But I will. Right now, all you have is a crush on me and I am totally flattered. Who wouldn't be?"

I smiled at that, "But you do love me?"

"More than the world," he nodded, "More than the sun and the moon or the air that I breathe, but in a brotherly sort of way."

"Okay, so you love me but not enough to marry me right now?" I asked.

"Right," he replied.

"Alright," I said, feeling comforted by the fact that he would love me enough for that in time, "That's all."

"You sure?" he asked, gazing down at me.

I nodded.

"Nothing else bothering you?" he asked.

"No," I said.

"Okay," he smiled, "Still in the mood for a hunting trip?"

Now that he mentioned it, I was starving. My stomach fluttered in a way that had nothing to do with butterflies and everything to do with needing sustenance.

"Yes," I answered him, "I'm so hungry, I could eat a mountain lion."

Jacob laughed then, "Lets go find you one then."

I nodded and watched as Jacob trotted off into the trees to phase. When he came back, he offered to race me and it was a challenge that I was all too happy to accept. As we raced through the green maze of the forest, I was glad that I finally had one question answered and content with the knowledge that someday, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not weeks from now or even months, Jacob would love me enough to marry me. I let that thought carry me over the ground, letting the happiness of that single thought spur my speed which just so happened to surpass Jacob's own.


	8. Possibility

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning** This chapter deals, in somewhat graphic detail, with what every person with a uterus goes through every month. Sorry in advance.

It was dark. Of that much I was certain. Dark and cold. I knew this place. I had been here many times before in dreams past. But it was different this time. This time it felt...real. A polar gust of wind blew through the long corridor, making me shudder. Before me, a door stood, tall, wide and gilded. It swung open upon my soundless approach with a heavy creaking sound, as if it had not been opened for ages. There was no other way for me to go but through that door. But I didn't want to go.

Suddenly, an eerie feeling crept up my spine with bone chilling resonance. This was the feeling that I had woken up to so many times before. But I did not wake now. How I wish I could.

A sound turned me around, leaving me staring at an empty corridor, save for the shadows that seemed to ebb and flow of their own will. I swallowed hard, my unnatural heartbeat almost silent, it was beating so fast.

_Renesmee_

I spun around at the sound of my name. The voice had definitely come from the gaping darkness beyond the gilded door.

_Renesmee_

Yes. Whoever it was lay beyond that door and I did not want to go in.

_Renesmee_

I squeezed my eyes closed, willing myself to wake. Another gust of weighted air blew at my back. I could feel someone standing behind me. Their essence brushed against mine. Any moment, I expected to feel a hand fall upon me. I didn't dare look behind me.

_Renesmee_

Again, that soft, female voice called to me. The presence behind me was so close now that if I took a deep breath, I was sure that I would brush up against them, whoever --- whatever --- they were. I needed out, but I couldn't wake. I held my breath as I stepped over the threshold of the open door. As soon as I was inside the dark, the door slammed shut behind me, making me jump violently.

The room beyond lit itself with ornate, silver candelabras and a sparkling chandelier that hung from the vaulted ceiling. The room was tall, expansive, and exquisitely decorated with genuine antiques. It looked like royalty would have been quite at home here. There was no bed but a huge, tall, wing backed couch upholstered in a deep sapphire blue. Set against the wall, was a lovely fainting couch of the same color. Cobwebs clung to every surface in layers of thickness so that the room looked as though it were veiled in macabre snow. Despite its foreboding appearance, there was a sense of peace to this room.

In the deep shadows of a mahogany armoire, someone sat. The table before her was laid out with cards. She touched her hand to one and flipped it over as I watched from my position at the door. I could hear no heartbeat and the provocative scent of a full blooded vampire caressed my nose. A black veil covered her head and masked her face in shadow. The only thing that I could see clearly was her milky pale hands as they moved over her cards.

 _You must help them, Renesmee_.

That lovely voice whispered to me from across the room.

"Help who?" I asked, my voice startling in the deadly quiet of the room.

 _You must help them see the truth of what they have become_.

As this was said, the pale perfect hands that rested on the table withered in upon themselves and the flesh turned black. Flames licked at the woman's hands and a bloodcurdling scream echoed throughout the room. The veil fell away from her face, leaving a flaming, undefinable pyre in its wake. Laughter echoed through the room to contend with that piteous screaming. I knew that sound. I knew it very well.

As I backed away from the burning vampire, pain bent me double. I clutched at my lower abdomen in excruciating agony. The sickly perfume of burning flesh tickled my nose and a wave of nausea rolled over me, bringing me to my knees on the Persian rug. Another stabbing blow hit my stomach, making me cry out from the pain. More laughter came then, high and maniacal.

And then I woke up but it was not a comfort. That crippling pain was still there, jabbing at my stomach in constant intervals that brought me gasping for air. Something else was amiss. There was something hot and sticky clinging to the inside of my thighs and I smelled blood. What was worse, it was my own. Panic choked the air that had already been so labored off completely as I threw my blanket from my body. Blood pooled in between my legs in a sickening amount, soaking through the front of my nightgown where it touched my legs.

"MOM," I screamed, unable to keep the hysteria out of my voice, "MOMMY!"

Tears were flowing out of my eyes like rivers as I gazed down the length of my body, gasping for air past my frantic heart and the squeezing in my abdomen. The door burst inward, flying off the hinges as my mother and father burst into the room, crouched low, eyes scanning the early morning haze for any sign of an intruder or other enemy. That's when they smelled it, my blood, leaking from my body. My father's face crumbled in near agony as he backed out of the room slowly. I gaped after him, appalled that he would leave me at a time like this.

"I'll get Carlisle," he said, his voice hoarse and then he was gone.

My mother was already at my side and I reached for her, gasping through tears. She hugged me close to her side.

"It's okay, baby," she whispered, "You'll be okay."

"I'm going to die," I said, "I'm bleeding...how..."

"You're not going to die," she replied gently.

"But it hurts," I gasped, "It hurts so much...like...like..."

"Like someone is squeezing your stomach in a vice?" she asked.

I nodded, finding it a fitting comparison, but...,"How did you know?"

She kissed the top of my head and wiped my tears away, "It's a part of every woman's life...Well, every living woman, anyway."

My father was back with Carlisle, I could hear their thoughts loud and clear, but I couldn't understand any of them. What did menstruating mean? And just why was Grandpa so calm about my loss of blood? None of this made any sense!

Carlisle strode through the door then and my father hovered in the doorway, his face contorted in an uncomfortable way. Carlisle sat beside my mother on the bed and gave me a small smile.

"Alice has gone to fetch the essentials," he told my mother, "This is certainly an unexpected surprise."

Surprise? Surprise?! I was bleeding to death and he thought this was a good thing? My mother chuckled and I realized that I had been projecting that last thought. I pulled away from her grip and huddled in upon myself as another wave of pain tore through me, making me wince. Carlisle finally gave me an adequate response when he frowned at my pain.

"I only wish there was something we could do for her cramps," he said, "I'm not sure that human medication would work for her."

"Do you think we could try a heavier dose?" my mother asked, "Maybe it will work with the right amount."

"I wouldn't want to risk it," Carlisle shook his head, "We know so little about her anatomy that an increased dosage of human medicine might be detrimental to her health. For all we know, it could poison her."

"Human food can sustain her," my father said from his place in the hallway, "So why shouldn't human medicine help her?"

"Would you really like me to take that risk on her, Edward?" Carlisle inquired.

"No," my father replied, "I would just like to see her without pain."

"As do we all but I'm afraid that she must deal with it on her own," he said.

"Can someone please tell me what's going on," I gasped, biting back a scream.

My mother and grandfather exchanged a look.

"Would you like to handle this, Bella?" he asked.

"I don't know," my mother smiled, "You're the professional health care provider."

At that moment, a cell phone rang. Carlisle slipped his phone out of his khakis and slid it open.

"Yes, Alice?" he asked.

"What kind does she want?" Alice's voice chimed from the other end, "Jeez, you'd think that humans only needed one brand! And who would want scented?!"

"I think any brand would do, Alice," Carlisle chuckled.

"That's not entirely what I meant," Alice replied.

"Oh," he said, "Well, since Bella is her mother, I think that decision should fall to her."

With that, the phone was passed to my mother. I whimpered against the pain of my...cramps? Was that what Carlisle had called them?

"Diaper or bullet, Bella?" Alice asked.

"Alice!" was my mother's shocked reply, "Do you have to be so blunt?"

She spared me a glance and I peeked up at her through my tousled hair.

"Um, I think we'll go with pads for right now," my mother replied.

"Okeydokey," Alice sang and then the phone went dead.

My mother shook her head as she handed the phone back to my grandfather. Without warning, my mother stood up and glided to the broken door. Carlisle gazed after her as my mother gently pulled my father out of my sight and into the living room.

"Well, I suppose it falls to me," Carlisle said, but not like he was unhappy about it.

"What's happening to me, Grandfather?" I asked, my voice soft.

"Well, Renesmee, in human girls, it means that their bodies are maturing," Carlisle explained, "When a young woman has her first menses, or period, as it is commonly know, that means that she is capable of becoming pregnant."

I felt my eyes widen at that. I already knew what _that_ meant...and also, what it entailed, though I didn't think that I'd ever have to worry about becoming pregnant. Jacob's smiling face flashed behind my eyes and I felt my face burn in embarrassment. Carlisle smiled in an understanding way but he wasn't even close to what I was actually embarrassed about.

"So why am I bleeding?" I asked, pushing aside any thoughts that I had just been having.

"Each month, one of your ovaries releases an egg. This is called ovulation," he continued, as if he were giving a lecture.

It was a handy method, however. He was thinking of diagrams in his head which I could clearly see and it helped me understand what he was saying as each new sentence was accompanied by a corresponding diagram.

"During ovulation, hormonal changes within your body prepare your uterus for pregnancy," he continued, "If ovulation takes place and the egg isn't fertilized, the lining of the uterus detaches and is flushed from the body."

"So, now that I'm having a...period, that means that I can get pregnant?" I asked, testing my knowledge.

"That's correct," Carlisle replied, "But only if you're sexually active and are unsafe with your chosen partner."

Jacob's face assaulted my mind again but through no fault of my own. I felt myself blush again at my grandfather's horribly amazing insight. His cool hand touched my cheek, which made me look at him.

"It's alright, Renesmee," he smiled, "It's perfectly natural, though I must insist that you wait for sexual activity until you are more mature, physically, at least."

I must have been fire engine red by now, "I've already received that talk, Grandfather."

"Yes, she has," came my father's voice from the living room, "Don't encourage her, Carlisle."

Carlisle chuckled as he shook his head, "Not everyone has your iron clad renitency when it comes to such matters."

"What is that supposed to mean," my father asked, leaning against my door jam without looking in.

"I'm just saying that if she's anything like her mother, there might be an issue," Carlisle laughed.

My mother made a strangled sound and my father's shoulders shook with silent laughter, "You may be right on that one."

"Hey!" My mother protested, "I....you...shut up!"

Both men laughed as my father disappeared again. Carlisle turned back to face me with laughter still in his ocher eyes.

"Do you have any more questions, my dear?" he asked.

"No," I replied, "Thank you."

"How about your cramps," he asked.

To my relieved surprise, I found that they had gone, "They're gone."

"Hmm," Carlisle mused, "Did you experience any odd symptoms prior to your period?"

"How do you mean?" I asked.

"Any strange cravings, hunger pains, mood swings?" he listed.

"Er, mood swings," I replied, thinking about my unexplained anger and grief from yesterday.

"That's fine," he nodded, taking mental notes, "It's all perfectly natural. When did they present themselves?"

"Yesterday," I replied.

"And you said that your cramps have gone," he asked.

I nodded, confused. He made another interested sound but didn't inquire further. He touched my cheek again before he turned and walked out the door. My mother came in seconds later with Aunt Alice dancing behind her. She had a plastic shopping bag in her hand which she dumped onto my bed. She sighed when she saw my ruined nightgown.

"I suppose it couldn't be helped," she said but then a delighted smile lit her face, "But that just means that I get to go shopping again."

"Come on, sweetheart," my mother said, "We'll get you cleaned up and I'll explain how to use these."

With that, she held up a bright green plastic package which was stuffed with thinner plastic wrapped objects.

"Alice, would you mind stripping her bed for me?" Mom asked.

"No problem," she replied cheerfully, "I think we have some new sheets up at the house...unless we already brought them here."

"They're in our closet," my mother said as she scoped me up into her arms.

She carried me to their bathroom and had me stand in the bathtub as she ran the water. I felt horribly awkward standing in the tub in my nightgown, dripping blood onto the white porcelain. I ran my hand under the faucet and found a suitable temperature and my mother pulled the stopper to allow the tub to fill.

"Give me your nightgown," she instructed, "Just relax and get clean and I'll bring you some fresh clothes."

She left me in the tub and I closed my eyes and tried to relax.

.... _and I have to have a new talk_ , my father thought.

 _She's menstruating_ , Carlisle mused, _That means there is a possibility of children for her unless her period stops when her body stops growing as well. There is so much that we don't know. I wish I knew_.

 _I can take her shopping and get her a new nightgown and some more shoes_ , Alice sang, _And I can force Bella to come to, and Rosalie! Oh, and Esme. We could have a girls day, it will be so much fun_!

 _I wonder what we'll do today_ , my eyes flew open as I heard Jacob running toward the house.

"Oh, no," I wheezed, sitting up quickly in the water, causing it to slosh out onto the floor.

"Hello, Jacob," my father greeted him at the door, his voice a little too pleased.

"Hey, Edward," Jacob replied warily, "What's up, Doc...What is that?"

"Today's not the best day, Jake," my mom said, "Maybe you should come back later."

"Is Renesmee hurt? Is she sick?" Jacob asked, frantic, "Why do I smell blood?"

The room went quiet for a moment and all I could hear was the sound of Jacob's heart and his breathing.

"OH!" Jacob's voice echoed through the house, "Oh! Got it! I'm gone."

And then he was gone. But I could still hear his thoughts and they were completely disheveled. He didn't know what to make of this new development. The only thing that I could make out for sure was that he was uncomfortable with the situation. Even my father had been uncomfortable. I leaned back in the water of the tub and sighed.

Carlisle had thought that my period meant that I could have children someday. When I had had the sex talk with my mother and she had told me that, I hadn't thought that I would be able to have children of my own because I was half vampire. But I was also half human, too. My period proved that much. The only reason that I was here at all was because my mother had still been human when I had been conceived so she could carry me.

Carlisle's other thought sent a sadness through me. What if I lost the capability to have children when I stopped ageing, as he had thought? That meant that I would only be fertile for another four years, if his hypothesis proved correct. What would that mean for me and Jacob later on? Would Jacob want children? And if so, would he still love me if I weren't able to give him any?

A single tear fell from my eyes then. Why did I have to be so different? Why couldn't I have been full vampire or full human? If I had been either, we would already know what to expect. Half human and half vampire and not able to truly belong to either.


	9. Undeniably

I was in the corridor again. That same gilded door loomed before me, swinging open to admit me. I stepped forward, swallowing hard as I did. I really didn't want to do this again, yet I had no choice. The unknown female sat in her place by the mahogany armoire with her cards spread before her. I now realized that the cards were tarot cards, a diving tool. She flipped her cards silently, her face still hidden beneath her black veil. Her head moved toward me and I knew that she was looking at me even though I couldn't see her eyes.

 _You must help them, Renesmee_.

That lovely voice whispered to me from across the room.

"Help who?" I asked, as I had before.

 _You must help them see the truth of what they have become_.

And then her hands burst into flames again. The veil fell away from her face, leaving a flaming, undefinable pyre in its wake once more. Laughter echoed through the room to contend with that piteous screaming. I backed away from the flaming woman who had begun to crawl toward me, dragging flames and ash behind her as she came. I stood, transfixed with horror by the door, unable to look away from her melting features. Her ruined mouth opened and closed as she tired to speak, her arm reaching for me.

The door opened behind me and someone entered the room. The cloaked figure stood beside me as if I weren't there. The set of the shoulders and the height let me know that this new addition was male, though the hood of his black robe masked his face. He, too, was a full blooded vampire. I could tell by the lack of a heart beat. He watched the woman collapse before the hem of his robe. The male stepped back as if the woman disgusted him. That foredone woman turned her melted eyes toward me and I choked back bile.

 _Save him_ , she thought, _even her mental voice was weak and strangled with pain, Let him be spared, if no other will see_.

I choked again as the flames grew higher, and thick smoke clouded the room. It smelled of burning furniture and burning vampire flesh. The hooded man cast another glance at the woman as she finally went limp on the charred throw rug. Somehow, as I watched the scene fade to black, I was absolutely positive that the smoldering female hadn't been speaking of the cloaked man who had watched her turn to ash.

I woke up to darkness for the first time in my short life. I gasped in cold fear and groped for the lamp by my bedside, flicking it on. I needed a light to chase away the bad things. The only problem was, the bad things were in my head and no amount of light would fix it.

Before I knew it, I was crying. Why was I plagued by such horrid dreams and what did they all mean? There was only one common factor in each of them. The Volturi. No other would dare wear a cloak as black as a moonless night without being among their number. Even the unfortunate female had been hooded in black and the one who watched as true death had turned her to cinder. So whoever they were, or had been, they were members of the Volturi's highest circle for only the most important members were allowed to wear black.

And who was the woman asking me to spare? I wiped my eyes and lay back down in my bed but did not dare turn off the light. Should I fall asleep and dream of nightmares again, I would like to wake to a light.

When next I woke, it was to the sound of a steady rhythm and the scent of the forest. I could feel heat pressed against my legs and opened my eyes to see Jacob sitting at the foot of my bed. He smiled gently at me when he saw my eyes open.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," he greeted me.

"Morning," I replied through a yawn.

"How did you sleep?" he inquired.

I started to tell him the truth but something stopped me. It was the weirdest feeling I had ever had next to the butterflies. It felt like something was tugging on the inside of my stomach. I closed my mouth and took a deep breath.

"Fine," I answered finally.

"Why was your light on when I came in?" he asked.

I turned my attention to my lamp, which was now off and frowned at it, as if I couldn't remember.

"I don't know," I lied again, "I guess I must have fallen asleep with it on."

He took me for my word and that odd tugging in my gut stopped. Guilt, however, quickly took the tugging's place. It felt horrible to lie to him but for some reason that I could not place, I felt like I had to. I thought about telling my parents but that overwhelming feeling of fluttering panic flared up inside me again and I had my answer. I had to lie to everyone I loved to keep them safe from the danger that even I did not know yet. But I knew there was danger and that alone scared me into keeping my silence.

"Are you feeling...better than yesterday?" Jacob asked.

"Oh," I had completely forgotten about my little female incident from yesterday.

I took a moment to assess myself. I could no longer smell fresh blood. Huh. I guess my period only lasted for a day. I'd have to remember to inform Carlisle.

"Yes, I am, but I'm sure that you knew that already," I answered finally.

Jacob's face darkened to a deep burgundy and I gaped at him in amazement. Jacob was blushing. I had never seen that before.

"Sometimes it sucks to have super human senses," he mumbled, "Yesterday was the longest day of my life."

"Tell me about it," I agreed with a smile, "I missed you, Jay."

His face brightened when he heard me use my nickname for him.

"We'll have to make up for it today," he pronounced, "What do you want to do?"

I considered the question for a moment. I hadn't been to La Push in a while, maybe we could spend the day there. I reached for Jacob's face and he leaned in toward me, automatically knowing what I wanted him to do. My hand cupped his warm cheek and I fought for absolute control over my crazy new hormones. I slipped only once but Jacob only smiled.

I pictured the rolling waves of First Beach and the smooth white driftwood benches around the blue glow of a driftwood fire. I summoned forth the faces of the pack as I thought of each one whom I hadn't seen in a while like Emily and Sam and tiny Madison, their one-year-old daughter. I thought of Quil and Embry and Claire who was older than me in age but not in appearance. I pulled my hand back and gave Jacob inquiring eyes.

"You know what," he began, "That doesn't sound too bad. Actually, I think there's a bonfire tonight."

"Really?" I asked, excitement thick in my voice.

"Really," Jacob beamed, "I better go talk to Bella and Edward about it first, though."

"Okay," I exclaimed, "While you do that, I'll get dressed!"

Jacob stood up laughing at my enthusiasm as he shut the door behind him. I skipped over to my wardrobe and pulled out a black t-shirt that had a huge pink flower on the front of it as well as faded dark blue skinny flare jeans and my blue plaid ballet flats. I glanced out the window to see, surprise, rain. I decided to add a blue plaid jacket with faux fur lining around the edges of the hood. I ran a brush through my curls to smooth them down and secured my hair with a blue satin tie Alice band. After a quick once over in the mirror I pronounced myself dressed.

I walked into the living room to see my mother and father seated on the couch. I danced toward my mother and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"Happy birthday, Momma," I sang out.

"Thank you, baby," she smiled, glad that her birthday was no longer a bad omen.

"I didn't get you anything, just like you asked," I smiled at her. I had inherited my distaste of celebrations from my mother.

"At least someone listened to me," My mother replied while sending a sharp glance at my father.

He only gave her a smile and I looked to Jacob who shrugged. He didn't know what my father had gotten her either.

 _What did you get her, Daddy_? I thought.

 _I bought her a first edition of Wuthering Heights_ , he smiled broadly at me, _And all the way from England, no less_.

My mother was looking between the two of us with a frown on her face.

"I'd think you'd love that gift, Momma," I smiled.

"I told him not to get me anything," she mumbled.

"But a first edition copy of _Wuthering Heights_?" I asked, finally seeing the book on the coffee table.

She didn't answer and my father laughed. He knew that she loved it. She was just too stubborn to admit it.

"You can go to La Push, by the way," my father replied.

"Thank you, Daddy," I smiled, kissing him on the cheek, too.

"I won't keep her out late," Jacob said, "I know she needs her sleep."

I felt the smile freeze on my face and hoped that it didn't show, "Darn half-human needs."

"Claire will be happy to see you," Jacob said, "She's missed her 'besetest friend besides Quil.'"

"Is that what she calls me?" I beamed.

"Yep," Jacob nodded, "Quite an honor, if I do say so myself."

"Have fun you two," my mother smiled, "I have to go deal with whatever Alice has cooked up over at the house."

"Yeah," I beamed. having already seen the plans in my aunt's mind, "Good luck with that."

"What does that mean?" my mother asked, her golden eyes flying wide.

I laughed as I pulled Jacob toward the door. I was just about to close it when I heard her ask my father the same question, making me laugh harder. We ended up taking a detour over the river. Jacob had found a fallen tree and used it as a means of crossing the river so that he didn't have to get soaked anymore. He helped me down on the other side and I followed him to his car. I climbed in and waited for him to get in.

"Grab my cell for me, will you, Ness?" he asked as he started the engine.

I did as he asked and handed him the phone.

"You know I can't use that while I'm driving now," Jacob frowned at me, "And how embarrassing would that be if I got pulled over by your grandad?"

I sighed, "Who do you want me to call?"

"Sam," Jacob replied, "Just to let him know that we're coming."

"I don't think I like this Alpha thing," I huffed, "It's really stupid."

"I don't like it too much either, baby girl," Jacob frowned as he turned onto the highway, "But as a courtesy, just call him. I'm sure Emily will be thrilled."

"Why is that?" I asked as I waited for Sam to answer.

The phone clicked and a female voice sang over the phone, "Hello?"

"Emily?" I asked.

"Yes," she replied, "Renesmee, is that you?"

"Yeah," I smiled, "Jacob can't talk, he's driving."

"Oh," I could hear the smile on her voice, "So I take it that means you two will be joining us for the bonfire tonight?"

"If that's alright," I replied.

"Of course it is," Emily replied, "You're as much a part of the pack as anyone else."

I smiled to hear that, "Alright, so we'll see you soon, Emily!"

"Sounds good," she replied and then the phone buzzed in my hand.

I clicked the cell shut and placed it in the cup holder. Jacob had a gloating smile on his face and I batted at his arm.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"Shut up, Jacob," I shook my head.

"I didn't say anything," he smiled innocently.

"No," I nodded, "But you were thinking it."

"You know, it really is unfair that you inherited your parent’s abilities," he sighed, "Now I really couldn't keep anything from you even if I wanted to."

And at that moment, I was thankful that he couldn't read minds. A huge surge of quilt twisted my gut and I turned my face toward my window to hide any unwanted expression that might have popped up. I had to lie. It was for his own good. Yeah, maybe if I told myself that enough, I'd believe it.

"What are you thinking about, Ness?" Jacob asked moments later, "I can practically smell the wood burning."

"Nothing in particular," the lies came easier now, though the guilt churned away, "I'm just zoning out."

"I didn't think vampires could zone out," Jacob smiled.

"Hey, I'm half human, too," I reminded him, "They zone out all the time."

"True," Jacob allowed.

The rest of the car ride was spent in silence, well, save Jacob's off tune humming. When we pulled up to Sam and Emily's house, I could see Quil chasing a laughing Claire around the yard. I giggled to see it. Quil finally caught her and scooped her up into his arms. He caught sight of us as he lifted her onto his shoulders, waving when she was safely seated. Jacob parked the car and we got out.

"Nessie!" Claire shrieked, making Quil wince.

"Jeez, Claire-Bear, I think the people in Oregon could hear you," he teased.

"Hey, Claire," I smiled up at the excited five-year-old, "How have you been?"

"I've been okay," Claire beamed at me, "How come you haven't been to see me in a long time?"

"I'm sorry, Claire," I said, "I didn't mean to."

"It's okay," she sniffed, "I forgive you."

"Besides," I said, "You've had Quil to play with."

"Yeah, but he makes faces when I want to play dress up," she frowned.

"Though I gotta say," Jacob beamed, "He makes one ugly girl."

Quil swung at Jacob but he stepped out of the way with ease.

"Boys, please play nice," this came from Emily as she stepped into the yard holding Madison in her arms, "The last time you guys were all here my window and both doors ended up in pieces."

"Sounds like my house," I beamed, "My uncles love to wrestle, too."

Emily shook her raven head with a small chuckle, "Well, I suppose boys will be boys, whatever their species."

With that, she turned toward the house. Quil followed after her with Claire still on his shoulders. She giggled as Quil stooped low to clear the doorway safely. Jacob and I wandered in after them. It never ceased to amaze me how Emily's tiny house could hold a pack full of large, often rowdy, shape shifters and remain as unscathed as it did. The smell of food wafted to my nose and I repressed a grimace. It wouldn't do to insult Emily's cooking prowess simply because I didn't care for human sustenance. Jacob, however, sniffed the air appreciatively.

"Is that ham I smell?" He asked.

"It is," Emily nodded, "Better hurry and snag some before your brother's finish it off."

And then Jacob was gone from my side. I shook my head and followed Emily into the living room which was knee deep, literally, in bodies. Embry and Paul were battling it out on some PS3 game while Rachel, Jacob's sister and Paul's imprint, cheered Paul on. I sat down on the arm of the sofa next to Kim, Jared's imprint. She smiled up at me and I smiled back. I don't think I've ever heard that woman speak in all of my short life. Emily was seated in a rocking chair in the extreme corner of the room, safely away from the rest of the boys as she held Madison in her arms.

The baby girl was watching everything from her mother's arms. Her deep black eyes flicking to every movement the crowd before her made. As Embry shouted about his recent loss and Paul crowed with victory, she never flinched. Looking at her, I knew that she would be a force to be reckoned with when she got older. She would be sharp and attentive. I stared at her, trying my best to hear her mental voice. I found it, clear as a bell though her thoughts were mostly images and a stray word or two that she was able to identify and understand. The one constant image I got was that of wolves. She knew what everyone in this room was.

Sam walked into the room at that moment. He picked his way through the crowd quickly as he made his way over to his wife and daughter. Emily beamed up at him with a smile that radiated perfect love and contentment and that smile was echoed in Sam as he bent down and kissed her. Seeing that much devotion pass between them made me look away, feeling as though I had intruded on something far too private. Little Madison's thoughts became happy as she watched her parents interact. The words "dada" and "mama" were attached to Sam and Emily with shining clarity and I smiled again but my smile faltered as my thoughts strayed. Would Jacob and I be that happy later on? Would he still be content to be with me if it turned out that I couldn't provide him with a child?

My eyes prickled and I blinked rapidly to try and fight off the tears. I would not cry. Not here. Not when I was supposed to be having fun with the pack that was so much like a second family to me. I shoved my depression down and filed it away. There would be time for all of that later, when I was alone.

"Hello, Renesmee," Sam greeted me from his position on the floor, leaning against Emily's legs while Madison was grabbing at fistfuls of his hair.

"Hello, Sam," I smiled sheepishly.

For the life of me, I always felt so awkward around Sam and I didn't know why. He had never done anything to me to gain a reaction like this. In fact, he had always been welcoming, so why did I always feel so...timid around him?

Madison giggled happily as she began to pat her father on the head with all of the force that her tiny body could muster. Sam smiled as he turned in his seat and whisked the little girl from her mother's lap.

"You think that's funny, little one," Sam asked his child as he began to tickle her, causing Madison to shriek with mirth, "I'll show you."

Jacob wandered in and seated himself on the floor at my feet, watching Sam and Madison. He had a huge smile on his face and I felt my heart throb. Seeing that look on his face as he watched the father and daughter made tears rush to my eyes again. That look said it all. He wanted to be a father someday. I hastily wiped the one tear that had managed to fall from my eyes before anyone noticed. Why wasn't I born more vampire than human? Why did I have to be cursed with the human traits of crying and blushing? All they were good for was giving me away.

Sam picked Madison up and sat her in his lap. She clung to him and wrapped her hands in his shoulder length hair again, memorizing the texture of it. I looked up to see Emily surveying me from her seat, a soft expression on her scarred face. I gave her a sheepish smile. I guess I hadn't been as quick as I thought I had. At that moment, a welcome distraction came in the form of Leah walking into the house. Cada trailed after her, shaking his head to rid it of the water droplets that had collected in his light-brunette hair.

Emily shot up out of her seat in a movement that would have done anyone in the room proud and hopped over the men easily as she rushed to embrace her cousin. Leah smiled as Emily wrapped her arms around her.

"Leah, I was wondering when you'd turn up," Emily smiled, "Hello, Cada, how are you?"

"Fine, thanks," Cada smiled, his hazel eyes sparkling, "How about you guys?"

"We're good," Emily smiled.

Leah's nose quivered and then she turned abruptly, fixing me with an icy glance. I suppressed a shudder and shrank in my seat. Jacob sighed loudly.

"Leah, don't start," he huffed, "She has just as much of a right to be here as any of us and you know it."

"Why didn't you just invite the rest of them over, too, while you were at it," she sneered.

"Babe," Cada called, placing a hand on her shoulder and she instantly relaxed under his touch.

How did all of these couples do that? Every single couple I had come across always had this magical ability to calm the other one down when they were stressed, even my mom and dad. It was simply amazing. I looked down at Jacob and smiled. I guess he sort of did that for me, too, even though we weren't a couple just yet. He could make me smile anytime, anywhere.

"Will your mother and Chief Swan be joining us this evening, Leah?" Emily asked.

Leah shrugged with a frown. She still wasn't happy about her mother's marriage to my grandfather. That tied her even closer to the vampires than she already was. I still didn't understand why she continued to hate my family so much. She imprinted, or at least found someone who loved her, so she should have let her grudge go. Besides, she could work on not phasing anymore. Collin and Brady, the two youngest wolves had already stopped, and Embry was becoming scarce these days, too. Quil wouldn't stop yet because of Clair, but everyone else seemed to be trying. Even Paul, the rowdiest of them all was trying to give it up.

"Stop staring at me, you little tick," Leah snapped.

Jacob growled, low and deep. Leah shot him a glance and huffed once before stalking off into the kitchen, Cada trailing after her.

"And on that note, I think Nessie and I are gonna go to the beach for a bit," Jacob announced, rising from the floor and extending his had to me, "If you want?"

"I want," I nodded, taking his hand and allowing him to pull me up.

Outside, the rain had turned to a light drizzle. The air was cool with a light breeze playing through the trees on the bluffs around us. Jacob walked beside me silently as we strolled down the coast. The water lapped at my feet as waves crashed down against the soft sand. I had rolled my pant legs up as far as the tight fabric would allow, trying not to get them too wet. It felt so good to be on the beach again. I missed it.

"Better?" Jacob asked as he watched my face.

"Much," I smiled.

"You shouldn't let Leah get to you," Jacob said, "She's trying, you know, for her."

"I know," I replied, "I would say probably better than you but you've been in her head, too."

He smiled at that, "Yeah, and thank God for Cada...I mean, that was touch and go for a while there, but man did it help."

I nodded. Last year, a group of shape shifters had come to Forks to look for a rouge member of theirs. Cada had been among them. Both packs had been on edge as they tried to locate and stop the rouge before he killed anyone else. They found him and killed him. Cada opted to stay in Forks because he had imprinted on Leah, or, as his species called it, pair-bonded. So Leah got her happily ever after, too, for the most part anyway.

"She's still bummed about not being able to stop phasing," I said.

"Yeah," Jacob grimaced, "Seeing Emily with Madison made her want kids, too. She can't because she's still phasing. That's why she's still pissy."

"I can see her point," I mumbled.

"I swear her and Blondie would be best friends if they didn't hate each other," Jacob laughed, "They have so much in common."

"You mock their pain," I sighed, "It's really not funny, Jacob."

He stopped walking then and stared at me, his black eyes very serious as he searched my face. His gaze was so intense that I had to look away before I betrayed anything. I didn't want to share this new fear with him. Not yet. Not when it shouldn't be an issue.

"What is it, Nessie?" He asked at length, "What's bothering you now?"

"Don't worry about it," I said, "I shouldn't even be worrying about it, at least not yet."

"This is about our future, isn't it?" He asked.

"Um," I bit my lip, "Yes."

He searched my face for a minute, his face set in considering lines. I called it his thinking face, the way his jaw was set, his full lips puckered slightly, and his strong brows furrowed. Yes, this was definitely his thinking face. I wasn't sure that I wanted to see it right now. Especially with the topic of my issues having so recently been discussed. I hoped he wouldn't connect the dots. His eyes widened and I groaned. He made the connection.

"You're not worried about having kids, are you?" He asked.

"And what if I am?" I inquired, "Would you be so quick to mock me as you were for my aunt and Leah?"

"No," he shook his head, "Because it's different for us."

"How so?" I asked.

"Well, because your half human," he replied, "And that little incident yesterday proved that..."

"That doesn't mean that I can bear children later," I cut him off, "I'll stop aging, Jacob."

"I know that," he said, "But..."

"But, what?" I continued, "I'll stop aging. That means that my body will stop changing. And why is it that Rose and Leah can't have children?"

"Because their bodies can't change," Jacob replied, finally catching up, "Oh."

"Oh, indeed," I sighed, "Carlisle didn't say it out loud but I still heard the thought in his mind. He brought up a very good point in his musings. My period meant that I could get pregnant now, while I'm still growing but that doesn't mean I'll still have the potential later. We don't know yet, but I'm thinking that I might not be able to have children when I'm fully grown."

I hadn't realized that I had been crying until Jacob wiped the tears away gently. He pulled me into his arms and held me and I let him. This was stupid. Why was I worrying about it now? Especially when Jacob didn't even love me in that way yet. Stupid new hormones and emotions.

"What's really bothering you," he whispered into my hair, "That can't be all."

"I was worrying that you wouldn't want me anymore," I replied, "If I couldn't bear you children."

He pulled away, looking down at me with indignation plain in his eyes, "Of course I would! I've already told you that you're the most important thing to me and nothing, I mean _nothing_ will ever change that."

"But, if I can't have kids..."

"I don't need kids to be happy with you, Renesmee," he said, his voice soft, gentle, "The only thing that I will ever need is to see your smiling face, to see that I'm making you happy. That's all."

"But I saw the way you looked at Sam when he was with Madison," I argued, "I saw that look...."

He shook his head with a smile, "I won't lie, it would be cool to have a rugrat of my own, but I don't need to be a father. Don't worry about it, Ness. We'll see what happens later, but for right now, you need to stop worrying about these kinds of things. Just have fun, don't try to be so grown up because you will be sooner than you know it."

"I know," I sighed, "But I can't help it. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize, honey," he smiled, kissing the top of my head.

"Do you think we should head back, now?" I asked.

"Yeah," Jacob nodded, throwing his arm across my shoulders, and steering me in the opposite direction, "We'll be heading up to the cliffs soon."

"Jacob," I said.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Thanks," I smiled.

"Anytime," He replied, that goofy grin that I loved so much plastered all over his face.

We walked back to the house and I tried to stop thinking about what the future held for me. Jacob was right, I did have limited time in my childlike state. I shouldn't be thinking of such pressing issues but still...something stirred in my head. I couldn't help but feel that my time here was coming to an end. I shuddered at the thought and Jacob held me closer, mistaking my shiver for being cold. I glanced up and looked at his profile. That strange feeling of unease tugging at my gut. Everything was about to change, of that much I was undeniably certain.


	10. Apprehension

"Renesmee, sweetheart, where are you?" My mother called to me, urgently, through the dense trees.

I frowned in the direction that her voice had come from. Why wasn't I with her already? And more importantly, why was I out in the middle of the forest? I wandered forward and entered the clearing that was all too familiar. Abruptly, I was on edge. My family stood in a line across the dark and cold clearing as snow began to fall onto the ground. In a blink of my eyes, the ground, which had been devoid of snow was now blanketed in powdery white. I wandered forward, my eyes on my perfectly motionless family.

I stopped beside my mother who didn't even acknowledge my presence. Her eyes narrowed where she stared out into the black night before us. I turned my head toward the line of trees that my entire family was focused on. Something warm and soft brushed against my arm and I looked to the side to see Jacob's massive wolf form standing beside me. His ears were flush against his head, which was bent down in an aggressive way as he stared into the tree line, too. A low growl slipped out of his snarling muzzle, his hackles raised.

The soft murmuring of cloth on ground made me turn back to the trees. They moved in military grace, not unlike the first time that I had seen them. Gray cloaks flowing around their weightless bodies elegantly, menacingly. I choked on my heart beat as I watched the Volturi guard fan out around us. Three black cloaked figures stood in the center of the clearing. Aro stepped up first, drawing back his hood with his odd chalky hands. His milky red eyes crinkled in a smile as he appraised us.

"And so here we are again," he smiled and Jacob growled beside me.

"No," I breathed.

Aro turned his eyes on me, his smile widening exponentially, "Ah, lovely Renesmee, a pleasure, as always."

"What do you want, Aro?" Carlisle called, his voice polite despite the frankness of his words.

"Don't you know?" This was directed at my father.

My dad hissed low and fierce, "You can't have her."

My mother grabbed me and pushed me behind her as she and Jacob growled at the same moment. A small figure ghosted to the front of the group. I didn't need to see the face under that hood, I knew it was Jane. As small hands pushed the hood of her dark gray cloak back, my suspicions were confirmed. Jane offered a sweet, gloating smile to my mother who hissed menacingly again, crouching low before me in a predatory manner.

"There is no need for violence, dear ones," Aro smiled that annoyingly fake smile, "Give the half-breed to us and we shall leave you in peace."

"You can't have her," my father said again.

Jacob started forward then, his huge body effectively hiding me from Aro's sight, and he from mine. I wasn't sure if I preferred this. I stood on my toes, trying to see over Jacob's hill-like back.

"Ah, I see that you still have your guard dog," came Aro's cheerfully snide remark, "But where is the rest of his litter?"

Jacob growled low again and I heard my father issue a soft warning to him. Jacob's ears twitched but he never relaxed his protective stance. Before me, I saw my mother stiffen. My eyes widened as I realized that Jane was trying to attack us again, much as it had happened before. A sickening realization hit me. They knew now. They knew how we survived last time. My father's thoughts turned frantic as I watched the scene through his eyes.

Demetri and Felix had moved up beside Jane as well as Alec. Alec's crippling mist had already begun to saturate the clearing between us. Jane kept smiling her sadistic gloating smile as she waited for her larger fellows to do their job. I watched along with my father as Demetri and Felix split off in opposite directions to circle us. Crap....How were we going to play this? I could see Demetri now as he edged closer to us on my side. Jacob followed his movement too, turning his whole body to keep the vampire in his sight.

My family collapsed the line, moving closer to one another, backs turned toward each other so that they could keep the Volturi from sneaking up on any side. Somehow, I had ended up in the center of the circle, protected by their own bodies. One by one, gray cloaks began to detach from the group to join Demetri and Felix. Without our friends here, we were the weaker side, clearly outnumbered. This was not going to end well.

A much larger circle of gray cloaks pressed around us. Alec's mist flared up and over my mother's invisible shield, trying to find a weak link in her armor. Jacob snarled in a bestial way as one of the cloaks brushed the edge of his snout. He snapped at the vampire but only caught the hem of the cloak as the vampire danced out of the way. The fabric tore as the vampire moved, revealing a slender woman whom I recognized to be Chelsea, her light brown hair falling in straight lines past her shoulders. Her ruby eyes glared at Jacob as he spat the torn piece of fabric out of his mouth. His lips drew back over his teeth in a taunting grin.

One moment we were being circled and the next, all hell broke loose. I wasn't sure what had stared it, it all happened so fast, too fast, even for me. The guard were among us, grappling with individual members of my family. Jacob launched himself at Chelsea who collided with him easily. His jaws snapping inches away from her pretty face and she snapped right back, her teeth glittering in the frail moonlight.

I was flung backwards so hard that I collided on the snow covered ground with enough force to make me winded. My father never left my mother's side as she stood perfectly still as she tried to keep her shield strong around all of us. Alec was trying to use his gift still, sending his mist toward my family only. Demetri rushed toward my mother but my father blocked him, turning his attention on the other man in a desperate attempt to destroy him. Demetri was one of the guards that we absolutely had to destroy. With his death, there could be hope for the ones who survived, if any of us did. Felix and Emmett collided with each other with such momentum that when their bodies collided, the earth shook. Felix let off a deep laugh as he and Emmett wrestled, almost as if they were old friends enjoying a friendly round of sparring rather than trying to kill each other.

And then it happened, the one things that ruined any chance we had. As my father grappled with Demetri, one gray cloaked member rushed my mother. I felt myself cry out in abject horror as my mother went sailing to the ground. I was racing toward her before I made an conscious move to get there. I wasn't sure what I was going to do when I got there but I knew that it was already too late. The one moment when my mother lost her concentration was all they needed to win. Alec's mist swirled around my family as all of the guards made a hasty retreat. All at once, every member of my family went still and silent, struck dumb and blind where they stood, caught in whatever move they had been making. All, save my mother. She turned horror struck eyes to me and tried to reach me.

I fell to my knees as I watched, helplessly as the three leaders drifted forward silently. Jane cackled happily as she sailed toward my mother, jumping on her back and taking her to the ground, holding her there as other guards joined in. A sound escaped my trembling lips and that brought Aro's attention back to me. He smiled up at me as Caius pulled out his silver lighter that engulfed my family in flames one by one. Aro's smile never faltered as Alec's mist evaporated in the air and the screaming began as my family's senses came back to them. Hot, blinding tears blurred my vision as I watched my family writhe and scream as they burned. My mother reached for me from her pyre, her mouth moving wordlessly.

Something hot and thick made contact with my hand where it lay motionless on the ground beside me. The ragged scream tore itself from my throat as I looked to see Jacob's blood coating my hand and his ruined body beside me. I heard an evil giggle and looked up to see Chelsea, her mouth and chin red with what I knew to be Jacob's blood. Rage filled my body in one hot boiling rush as I shot up to my feet. I glared at Aro past the flames and the thick, sickening perfume that was my family dieing. His smile slipped when my heated eyes met his but he quickly recovered. He extended one withered hand toward me.

"Now will you join with us, dear Renesmee," he called to me across the clearing.

I felt myself smirk as I carried myself toward him. He thought he had won. His smile turned from inviting to gloating as I glided across the clearing toward him. That same cocky, rage filled smile was still on my face as I made and abrupt turn and walked into the still smoldering flames where one of my relatives had burned. I didn't even scream as the flames ate away at me, but instead, I smiled. They would never have me, just like my father had said.

I woke gasping for air and so very hot, like I was on fire.

"Whoa, it's okay, Ness," came Jacob's voice from beside me.

I let out an almost hysterical giggle as I realized that I had fallen asleep at the bonfire. Jacob had me tucked against his body and was peering at me, clearly worried about my response when I had woken. He wasn't the only one who was watching me. I grinned at the pack as I straightened in my seat.

"Sorry," I replied, "I was having a silly dream."

The pack relaxed and I sighed. The lies really were getting easier with each new one that sprang from my lips. Jacob frowned down at me and I offered him a smile. His frown only deepened.

"I'm gonna take Nessie home, guys," Jacob said to the pack.

I opened my mouth to object but then hastily shut it. Home sounded like a good idea. I needed to see my family, make sure that they were still alive and well. The dream had been all too real, every touch, every sensation, every smell...all too real. As I stood up to follow Jacob to his car down the road, there was a chorus of good byes and I waved to everyone.

Once in the car, the silence was thick and for the first time, uncomfortable. Jacob started the engine without comment and he didn't speak until we were on the highway headed toward my house.

"What happened back there," he asked finally.

"I fell asleep," I shrugged, gazing out my window, trying to look bored...or tired or any other thing that would get me out of this conversation. Guilt hammered at my stomach in a near painful sensation, almost like cramps, though very different.

"I'm aware of that," Jacob replied, "And I know that you know what I meant."

I shrugged again, "Sorry."

"Ness..." He sighed, "Talk to me, baby girl."

"What about," I asked innocently.

"Renesmee," it was a demand this time. He wasn't letting this go. Gr-reat.

"What, Jacob? What?" I asked, nearly crippled with guilt, "I fell asleep, that's it. Why are you so worried?"

"Because you gasped when you woke up," he replied, "And then you laughed like you were happy to see me alive...What gives, kid?"

"Remember when you told me not to worry about stuff?" I asked, trying a last ditch effort to evade the topic and he nodded, "We'll I guess that my subconscious didn't get the memo. I just had an odd dream, that's all. Nothing to worry about, I pro..."

My throat closed up and I couldn't finish my sentence. I had started to say that I promised...but it was a promise that I just couldn't keep. I could feel Jacob's eyes on me and I very pointedly did not look at him. As I looked out my window, I frowned as I saw the side of the road getting closer to me. It took me longer than it should have to realize that Jacob had pulled over. I set my jaw and continued to stare at the now stationary trees.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen, look at me," Jacob demanded and I flinched.

I still didn't look at him, though I admit that I was worried about his reaction to that. He had never, ever called me by my full name. Not even my parents had called me by my full name yet, but then, I'd never given them any reason to. The silence was loud between us.

"Please," he whispered and that one word was my undoing.

With absolutely no warning, I burst into tears. Jacob made a startled sound as I broke down in the passengers seat, crying so hard that my chest hurt and the lump in my throat threatened to choke me. The car rocked and I was in Jacob's arms. He held me as I wailed, for that was exactly what I was doing, sobbing and making helpless noises as quickly as I could draw breath around the jagged clump of grief in my throat. I lifted a shaking hand to his face and played my dreams for him, all of them, unable and unwilling to keep the truth from him any longer. He, of all people, had a right to know what I was going through. Fresh anguish welled up inside me as I lay everything bare for him. I felt like I was going to cry myself to death.

"Oh, jeez, honey," he murmured into my hair, "Baby girl, I -- I'm so -- Jesus..."

I don't know how long I cried, only that finally, thankfully, I stopped. I was curled up in Jacob's lap. Sometime during my fit, we had moved to the backseat, so that he could hold me closer, comfort me more. I rested my head against his chest, his arms wrapped around me in that familiar, lovely way, one hand idly pressed against my cheek as his thumb trailed across my cheek bone.

"Are you feeling better," he asked gently.

"Absolutely not," I said, my voice a bit hoarse from all of the crying.

"Do you want to talk about it," he offered.

"What is there to talk about?" I asked, "I'm a half human, half vampire who is plagued with inexplicable nightmares of death and destruction."

"Are you going to tell your parents?" he asked.

"No," I said firmly, "No. I wasn't even going to show you but...I couldn't do it. It felt horrible to lie to you and besides, I think I owe you that much."

"Thanks," Jacob replied sarcastically.

"You know what I meant," I sighed.

"I know," he said, "I was just teasing you."

Another long moment passed without either of us saying anything. I was utterly content to just listen to his heartbeat under my cheek. That thick, steady beat was one of my favorite sounds in the whole world, next to my mother and father's voices. Jacob was running his hand through my curls, something he used to do when I was smaller to help ease me to sleep. The effect this time was something much different. It awakened something within me. Where his fingers brushed across my scalp, they left fire in their wake; a warm, tingling feeling that made me shudder.

Jacob's hand ceased its messaging path and I could feel him look down at me. I looked up at him and instantly knew that it was a mistake. His face was so very close to mine from this angle, his cupid bow lips so close. Before I realized what I was doing and much too late for me to stop it, I craned my head upward just enough to close the distance between our lips.

My lips brushed his at first, softly, hesitantly and he stiffened under my body but then, slowly, he relaxed against me. He moved closer to me, his lips sealed against mine and I let off a contented sigh as our lips moved together. This was right. This was what we had always been meant to share. My hand cupped his cheek as his knotted in my hair in a firm grip that was only just this side of painful, but somehow, it felt wonderful. And then it came to an abrupt end.

Jacob jerked back from me so quickly that, had it not been for the tiny size of the car, I would have ended up on the floor. He buried his face in his hands and shook his head. I frowned at him from my new position, half slung across the other seat, only my feet remaining in his lap.

"I can't," he said through his hands, "That was wrong of me and I apologize."

"Why are you apologizing," I whispered, trying very hard to conceal the hurt that I felt, "I kissed you."

He looked at me then, his eyes blazing with their own form of agony and I caught my breath. Why did he look like that? He had stopped kissing me, not the other way around.

"I didn't mean to...," he began, "I mean, I did, but...I just...We can't...You're dad is going to skin me alive and have Esme use my hide as a throw rug."

"Don't worry about it," I replied, my voice only minimally glacial, "I'll tell him the truth. It's not like it was _your_ idea."

"Ness, don't be like that," he sighed, "Try to look at it from my perspective for a minute, okay?"

I just glared at him, crossing my arms over my chest, leaning my back against the drivers side back window.

"How old do I look to you?" He asked.

"Twenty," I replied, stating his actual age as I knew it.

"I said how old do I _look_ ," he reiterated.

"Twenty-three?" I asked, still missing the point of this stupid game.

"And how old do you look?" He asked.

"Um, I don't know," I shrugged because I actually didn't. I didn't really have many references to human ages, except my parents, whom I knew to be caught in the older stages of teenage years.

"Well, I do," Jacob replied, "You look like you're thirteen, Ness...that's a full nine years younger than me, appearance wise and it's an even worse gap between us when your actual age is concerned."

"So?" I demanded.

"So, I just can't...be with you...like that yet," he replied, "Plus, I promised your mom that I wouldn't, you know, be physical with you until you looked at least sixteen."

"But I love you," I replied lamely, "I know I do. I love you like my mom loves my dad and I want to be with you...Like they are."

"I love you, too," Jacob smiled but it disappeared right away, "But we just can't be together that way. Not yet."

"Well, that's not fair," I sighed, loosing momentum in my anger because I knew that he was right, but still, "Age shouldn't matter."

"But it does," Jacob replied, "And I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings. I love you, I really do, but not like your parents love each other, not yet."

I huffed, "Fine. Can we just go home and try to pretend that it never happened?"

"I'll take you home, yes," Jacob nodded, pushing the passenger’s seat forward so that he could get out.

He held his hand out to me and I stared at it, still a tad resentful. He sighed and pulled his hand back, walking around the front of the car and starting it back up again. I crawled out of the backseat and pushed the front seat back where it was supposed to be, fastening my seat belt. I refused to look at him the rest of the ride home, too embarrassed, angry, hurt and scared to do anything but watch the Washington scenery fly by.

I trudged up the front steps of the big house, my mother's lullaby echoing in the air and opened the door, Jacob following behind me. His thoughts were jumbled as he entered the house, but he was still thinking about what had happened in the car. That was a huge mistake. My father's head whipped up from the piano as he glared at Jacob. I sighed and walked straight for him, touching my hand to his cheek before he could try and kill Jacob. I played my memories of the incident for him and he frowned as he looked up at me, his face softening when I displayed how hurt I was. He took my hand away as a tear fell from my eyes.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he said gently, "But Jacob is right about this."

"Of course you'd say that," I murmured.

He smiled again and hugged me, "You did promise me."

"I did," I replied, "But I didn't know that it would be this hard."

"You have to be patient, my darling," he continued, "Don't rush this. Your mother and I would still like more time with you."

"You have time," I replied, but it felt like a lie. Aro's face flashed through my head like a warning.

My father frowned at me and I hastily changed my thoughts, focusing on Jacob, a subject that I knew my father would dislike most at the moment. My evasive strategy worked, and he shook his head, but not in an angry way.

"Don't be so hasty trying to grow up," he said again, "You have all eternity for that."

"Where's Mom?" I asked, realizing that she wasn't in the room.

"She ran to the cottage to grab her first addition," he smiled.

And then my mother wandered into the room, her nose deep in Bronte's only novel. Well, at least she hadn't seen what had happened, though I'm sure my father would tell her later.

"Yes, I will," he replied, "Of course I will. There are no secrets between us."

Any response that I would have made died in my throat as both my father and I turned toward my Aunt Alice, who had gasped from the couch. Jasper was holding onto her as everyone gazed at her.

"What is it, Alice?" My mother asked, her book forgotten on the coffee table.

"The Volturi," my father, Alice and I all said together.

In my head, I could see everything that my aunt was seeing, though it confused me just as much as it did her.

"What about them?" Rosalie huffed.

"They're sending out the hunting party," Alice said, her eyes still far away, "They're headed to France, Paris, to be exact and then...nothing."

"What do you mean, nothing?" Jasper asked.

"I can't see," Alice replied, blinking as the vision ended, a hazy blank, "All I see is Demetri, Felix, Alec, Jane and Chelsea going to Paris, but when I try to see what they're hunting for, I get nothing. Paris is a blank."

All eyes in the room turned to me then.

"What?" I asked.

 _Who are the only people that Alice can't see_? My father thought at me.

My eyes widened, _Half-breeds and shapeshifters_.

"Oh no," I breathed, "They're going after the half-breeds."

"We can't know that for sure," Carlisle shook his head.

"Perhaps they might change their mind," Esme suggested, looking at Alice.

Alice was shaking her spiky head, "No, if they weren't sure, the vision would be changing but all I see is a void. I hate to say it, but I think Renesmee might be right."

"Can you see Nahuel?" My father asked and Alice gave him a sour look, "That's not what I meant, Huilen, maybe?"

"Edward," Alice sighed, "Remember when Bella was pregnant with Nessie and I said that I couldn't get a clear view of her future _because_ she was pregnant with Nessie? Well that works the same way with Huilen. She's so close to Nahuel all the time that I can't see her."

My father looked at Alice then and quirked his eyebrow. Alice smacked her head.

"Right! Duh," Alice replied, "Sorry. I'll check."

The room went still again as Alice dazed out. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw the image in her head.

"There is a small portion of South America blank from my sight," Alice chirped cheerfully, "Looks like we're in the clear."

"I wonder what is in Paris that is blocking your vision, Alice," Carlisle mused, "If the Volturi were going after the hybrids, I'm sure they would have started with Renesmee and Nahuel first. They know where they are."

"I wish I knew," Alice huffed, "Aro always changes his plans so often that all I see are glimpses. But then, he knows what I can do, and I bet that he knows that I'll be watching them...He might be doing it on purpose...."

"I bet he is," I seconded her theory.

I really didn't like how well the Volturi knew my family. And after the fight in the clearing, they knew even more. Apprehension twisted in my stomach in a painfully, icy knot. They knew too much and now they were going after hybrids. They had to be. Alice's visions were never wrong.

"I'll keep a closer eye on them," Alice assured the room, "If they plan anything, I'll know and we can prepare."

My father pulled me down next to him on the piano bench and held me. I leaned my head on his shoulder and tried very hard not to think about what Alice had just said and even harder to block out my nightmares. I didn't want my family to know about them. I had a feeling that I would have a tough choice to make sooner or later. Somehow, I was betting on sooner.


	11. Oblivion

I opened my eyes to darkness yet again. My heart thrummed away in my chest and I brought my hand up to my face and covered my eyes. I heaved a heavy sigh and rolled onto my side. For the past two weeks I had been having the same nightmare. I was running through the forest. There shouldn't have been anything scary about that, except that I was running alone, carrying the knowledge that one only has in dreams. My family was dead and my home was destroyed and I was running to save my own life. But there was no where I could run to. And I was alone.

Alice hadn't seen anything to cause any alarm but I was waiting for it, knowing that it would come eventually. I lay in bed and closed my eyes again.

I knew this place. Before me, the gilded door swung open at my approach. Just as before, I didn't want to go inside but the ominous press of the shadows behind me made me step over the threshold.

As soon as I was inside the dark, the door slammed shut behind me. The room was a blackened wreck. Fire damaged furniture lay in ruins around the room. Soot stained the stone and the room smelled acrid and stuffy, like it hadn't been aired out in ages. There was another scent in the air, however, and that caught my attention. I was sure that I had smelled it before, but I couldn't quite place it.

In the deep shadows of the broken and blackened mahogany armoire, someone sat. I frowned, knowing instantly that this was not the same dream as before. The woman who sat in the corner now was not the same veiled lady. No, she was entirely new to me. And she was another hybrid. I could hear her heartbeat now and it was the same thrumming rhythm of my own and I realized what the scent was that I had caught earlier. It belonged to her and it was familiar to me because it was like my own.

Her hair was platinum and fell around her shoulders in shining waves. Her skin was even fairer than my own and her eyes were a lovely, clear blue. Her delicate hands rested on her cards as her eyes met mine. Rose petal lips lifted in a smirk. I watched her shuffle tarot cards, taking three from the deck and laying them on the small table before her. She flipped the three cards over, her crystal clear eyes scanning each one individually. I took notice of the cards for the first time. One was of a moon, another was a chariot and the last on the table was a wheel. None of them made any sense to me.

The woman's eyes narrowed, and she looked up at me, her lips still pulled up in a smirk.

"Renesmee," she said, her voice was a rich contralto, "I've got you."

And then the dream ended. It went blank, like it had been wiped clean. I was left standing in pitch darkness but I was still asleep. I was still dreaming but I was trapped in the nothingness. Somehow, this empty void was much worse than any of my other nightmares. I was trapped in oblivion and I couldn't figure out how to wake up. As panic squeezed my lungs a rich, melodious laugh echoed around me in the endless nothing and all I could do was scream.

Someone grabbed me and I thrashed in their grip, fighting whoever it was with all of my strength.

"Ow," someone said, "Ness, wake up, honey. You're okay."

My eyes snapped open and I was staring up into Jacob's black eyes. I threw myself at him, clinging to him as I took deep, calming breaths. He held me back, rubbing my back in soothing circles. Something was wrong, though. I could smell fresh blood and I pulled back hastily. I caught the deep red gashes that I had left in his arms and gasped.

"Oh, no," I breathed, "I'm sorry, Jay!"

He chuckled, "Don't worry about it. I've had worse, believe me. Besides, they're already starting to heal."

And so they were. I could just see that his skin had started to knit itself together. I buried my face in my hands and sighed.

"Was it the old suck-heads again?" He asked.

"No," I breathed, "This was something different. There was another hybrid there...and she said that she had me...and then, nothing."

"Nothing?" Jacob frowned.

"Yeah," I replied, "That's what scared me. I was just trapped in an endless blackness and I couldn't wake myself up....it was so much more terrifying than anything else..."

"Well, you're awake now," Jacob said, "So..."

I wasn't looking at him anymore. I was staring out of my window at the mist that swirled around the trees, making elegant patterns in the air.

"Ness," Jacob said and it was only then that I realized that he had been speaking.

"Yes," I asked, blinking up at him.

He frowned down at me, his eyes clearly worried and I sighed, "I'm sorry, Jay. What were you saying?"

"I was asking you what you wanted to do today," he repeated.

"Oh," I replied, "Um....let's go for a hike!"

We hadn't done that in a while and I really could use the distraction that it would provide me. Jacob seemed to consider this for a moment before a smile broke over his face.

"I guess that could be fun," he agreed, "I'll tell Bella and Edward and then we'll be off."

I nodded and watched him leave, getting up to find some suitable hiking attire. I settled for a pair of jeans that had been intentionally distressed and a ice blue button up top. I tied on some hiking boots, pulled my curls back into a ponytail and headed into the main room. Jacob was sitting on the couch with my parents and neither of them looked particularly happy. I frowned at the scene, hopelessly confused as to why they all looked like that.

"I don't want you going too far today," my father said as I entered the room.

"Why?" I frowned.

"Just don't," he replied.

"O-kay," I said, staring at him.

I couldn't get anything from him and it was then that I saw my mother's hand around his. Jacob was sitting so close to my mother that I instantly knew that he was included in her shields. I sighed. I wonder what they were hiding from me now. I wandered over to them, leaning over my mother while I pretended to glance at the title of the book that was currently on the coffee table, though my actual intention was to "accidentally" brush up against her. The only way that I could break through her shield was if I was touching her, skin to skin. I must not have hidden my motives very well because my father suddenly pulled my mother onto his lap, half spilling her into Jacob's. My mother was momentarily shocked but then comprehension dawned on her and she shook her head slightly. My father held her close to himself and conveniently well away from me.

"It's _The Merchant of Venice_ ," my father said quietly, "That is what you were trying to see, correct?"

"Yes," I replied, eying him suspiciously before turning a brilliant smile on Jacob, "Well, lets go, Jay!"

"Not too far, I mean it," my father said.

I nodded to him and grabbed Jacob's hand, towing him toward the door. Jacob was thinking of a million trivial things and I gave up trying to figure out what had gone on inside. Once we were outside, I threw my arms behind me and stretched. Yes, I need the physical activity today. Jacob walked ahead of me through the thick underbrush that surrounded our cottage. He stopped near the line of trees and turned back to me, waiting. I skipped over to him and smiled.

"Which way should we go?" He asked.

"Let's go in a general...that way direction," I said, pointing off to my left.

Jacob chuckled, "I see you've been watching Pirates of the Caribbean again."

"Nope," I smiled, "I just have perfect recall."

"Yeah, yeah," Jacob replied, "I know."

We glided through the forest silently for a while. I had forgotten how nice it was to just stroll through the trees for leisure.

"Hey, Ness," Jacob said suddenly.

"Yes?" I asked, startled.

"Why haven't you told your parents about your nightmares?" He asked.

"I just don't want them to know," I replied, "I think....I think it would be dangerous for them...if they knew. I'm still not too happy that you know."

"But, why?" Jacob pressed.

"It's just how I feel, Jay, okay?" I said, "That's the only way I can explain it."

Jacob sighed and I could hear the millions of questions tripping over themselves in his head and was pleased when he didn't voice any of them. Instead, he reached for my hand and laced his fingers through mine. The forest thinned and soon we entered a small clearing that was a cross between a meadow and a thicket. How interesting. I don't remember seeing this place before.

"Huh," Jacob said beside me, "We've never been here before."

"Are you sure you can't read minds?" I asked, looking up at him, "Or was I projecting again?"

Jacob chuckled, "I guess great minds think alike. Jeez, I feel like I should have packed us a picnic or something."

"This place would be perfect for it," I nodded, "It's beautiful."

I wandered forward into the nest of ferns that crowded around the small stretch of grass and moss that made up the meadow portion. The trees that created the thicket wound up toward the sky in an intricate, curving fashion, creating and almost roof-like overhang. Yes, this place was beautiful, beyond beautiful, actually and it was ours, Jacob's and mine. I turned to look at him where he still stood in the line of trees and smiled before I plopped down on the ground, patting the space next to me. Jacob smiled and joined me, sprawling himself on the ground beside me.

Around us, the breeze was singing through the trees with a haunting melody. None of the other signs of forest life greeted our ears, but then, the birds wouldn't sing for us. No, we were something alien and dangerous to the woodland creatures and they wouldn't welcome us. I had grown accustom to the silence that was always present in the forest when I was in it.

I lay back against the fluffy moss and grass and closed my eyes, listening to the wind and Jacob's heartbeat. I could feel him beside me, his body heat mingling with mine. Above me, and through my closed eyes, the darkness became less and I knew that the sun had managed to make an appearance through the dense clouds. And then I was bombarded by a totally unexpected thought.

 _God, but she looks breathtaking in the sun_.

My eyes snapped open as my face turned to Jacob who was looking down at me, his face full of wonder and something close to fear.

"What?" I breathed.

"Oops," he replied, closing his eyes and looking away from me, "Damn it, I thought I was getting better at controlling my thoughts."

"Jacob," I said, sitting up and grabbing his arm, "What?"

 _Do I really need to repeat it_?

"Yes," I replied.

He sighed loudly and turned back to face me, "You remember how imprinting works, right?"

I nodded. I don't know how many times I've gone over the mechanics of imprinting before, both with my parents and with Jacob.

"Safe and happy and all of that," I waved it off like it was nothing, "But why does that matter?"

Jacob closed his eyes and swallowed hard before he spoke again, "Yeah...about that happy part..."

"Just spit it out Jacob!" I said.

"I talked to your parents this morning," he continued, "And I'm pretty sure that they didn't like what I had to say, Edward especially. This is so hard..."

Ah, maybe I'd finally get to see what the scene in the living room this morning was about. I didn't press but waited for him to continue.

"So this morning, I let Edward see what I've been thinking about these past two weeks," Jacob said, "I'm surprised that he didn't kill me right then...Anyway, he understood how hard it is for me because he understands the imprinting thing and all that it entails...And I assured him that I understood his point of view, and your mom’s, too..."

"I don't..." I began but Jacob held up a finger to silence me.

"I'm getting to it," he said, "I have to keep you happy. I have to, it's not a choice and recently, you've made it clear that what would make you happy is if I was more...romantic...with you."

My eyes widened, "Oh!"

"So I told your parents," Jacob continued on as if I hadn't just had a revelation into the uncomfortable atmosphere that had greeted me in the morning, "I'm still not sure how they'll react to that...or what they're willing to allow...but I will respect what they want, even if that means that I can't...give you what you want...but it won't be easy for me."

"You told them all of that while I was getting dressed?" I asked. How had I not heard any of that?

"No," Jacob shook his head, "I told them all of that while you were still asleep. I told them about what we were doing this afternoon while you were getting dressed."

"Now I understand why my dad didn't want us to go too far," I nearly smiled, "He wanted to be able to find us quickly."

Jacob wasn't as amused by this as I was. This was really hurting him. His morals and the imprinting were clashing violently.

"Jacob," I said softly, giving his arm a gentle squeeze, "Jacob, you can't think of me as a normal girl. I'm not normal. I'm half vampire...I'm far more mentally advanced than my physical appearance and you know that. I might even be more mature than you are."

I smiled at him to let him know that I was teasing him but he didn't smile.

"C'mon, Jay," I sighed, "Don't turn this into a burden."

"Ness," he sighed, "That's not what I meant by any of that...It's just hard."

I nodded, "I know."

I ran my hand down his arm and wove my fingers within his and just held his hand. He looked at our joined hands and I felt what he was feeling. Happiness, confusion, sadness, anger, betrayal, love, self-loathing, disgust, all mixing together with each other at once.

"I know," I whispered, as if reply.

He reached for me, his hand cupping my cheek gently and I closed my eyes under the tenderness of his touch. In that moment we both wanted the exact same thing, each other. Neither of us moved, we only let the longing flow through us like some beautifully painful heat. Jacob's hand fell away from my cheek and my eyes fluttered open and I gasped. His face was inches from mine, like it had been in the car, however, this time, this time I was strong enough to resist the temptation to close the distance between us though my lips trembled with the need.

Jacob took a deep breath and let it out slowly before he drew away from me, a wistful smile on his face.

"Okay," he said, "Good."

"Easy for you to say," I mumbled and he laughed.

Just then, a cell phone rang and Jacob plunged his hand into his jeans pocket and pulled out the phone.

"Yeah," he said.

"Jacob," said my father's voice on the other end, "You and Renesmee need to come home, now."

"What's wrong?" Jacob frowned, on edge.

"Just do it," my father snapped, "The big house, quickly."

And then the phone went dead. Jacob snapped it closed and looked at me but I was already on my feet. Something was wrong and I had a terrible feeling that I knew what it was. Jacob and I ran through the forest as fast as we could, clearing the river and porch at lightning speed. As the front door slammed shut behind us, my vision tilted as the scene in front of me confirmed my worst fears.

My entire family looked up at us from their positions on the floor, where they were all clustered around Alice who was on her knees. Her eyes shifted to me and I felt my legs shake as the memory of her vision replayed in my head.

"The Volturi have disappeared," she said softly, "I can't see them anymore. They're gone."

My legs gave out from under me and darkness took me.


	12. The Most Difficult Choice:

"I think you should slap her," said a trilling voice off to my left.

"Alice," my mother's voice chided.

"What?" Alice replied, "That's what they do in movies."

My eyes opened and I was left staring up at my entire family. Visible relief flooded all of their faces at once. I blinked a couple of times before I sat up, gripping my head. Well, that was new.

"I think you might be the first vampire in history to have ever fainted," Emmett said, "Good job!"

"Shut up, Emmett," my father and Aunt Rosalie said together.

"Are you alright?" Esme asked as she patted my shoulder.

"Yes and no," I replied honestly.

"Is there anything I can get for you?" she asked.

"No, thank you, Grandmother," I smiled at her, "I'm okay."

"Do you remember what happened," this from my father.

"The Volturi vanished," I nodded, "There is no possible way that I could forget that."

"Whatever happens, we'll protect you," he said.

"I know," I said softly.

 _That's what I'm worried about_.

 _You don't have to worry about us, sweetheart_ , he replied, his brow crinkling, _We can take them_.

"But what if you can't?" I asked.

"But what if we can't what?" my mother asked.

"Renesmee is worried about our safety," my father informed the room.

"Baby, you don't need to worry about us," my mother smiled, "We can take care of ourselves."

"And we've got your mom," Emmett nodded, "She can keep us safe."

"Yes, and the Volturi know that now," I replied, "What if they...kill her...then what would you do?"

"Renesmee, nothing is going to happen..." my mother frowned.

"What if it does?" I yelled, the weight off all of my nightmares collapsing in on me, putting pressure on my head in a way that made me wince.

"Where is all of this coming from?" my father asked.

"Just think about it," I replied, dodging the question and his eyes, "They tried to kill us once before and we were forced to stop them. Now they know how Momma's power works. They've probably spent the last couple of years planning the perfect way to get around it...or through it....We all know that if it came down to a confrontation again, Momma would be their first target."

"She's right," Jasper said this, "Edward, you know she's right."

"I'd stop them," my dad snarled, "I wouldn't let them near Bella. Or Renesmee."

"Daddy," I shook my head, "You're not invincible. None of us are. Not really. It's time we own up to it."

"Then what are we supposed to do?" Rosalie asked, placing her arm around my shoulders, "How are we going to stop them?"

"We could gather our friends again," Esme suggested, "Having them with us caused the Volturi to pause last time, maybe it could work again."

"Maybe," my father nodded, "I think we should call Carlisle. If ever there has been an emergency, it's now."

Esme nodded and darted out of the room to call her husband home. I sat in the circle of my loved ones and felt my eyes prick with tears. I bit my lower lip, trying to stop it from trembling as my family talked strategy around me. Esme walked back into the room and took a seat on the sofa.

"He's on his way," she informed us.

I managed to extricate myself from the cluster of my family and wandered over to the window wall. I stood beside the window, gazing out over the landscape. As I closed my eyes, I could see the same picture, only this version was completely engulfed in flames. A ragged gasp slipped out of my lips as my eyes snapped open. My father was standing beside me, staring out the window just as I had been, his face passive.

Jacob stood in the middle of the room, my mother by his side. I looked at him and fresh fear welled up in my stomach. Jasper looked over at me and a wave of calm stole over the room. I was grateful to him for trying to comfort me, but I didn't want it. It wouldn't help. Even so, I offered my uncle a smile and he gave me a nod before turning back to the others and continuing the conversation they had been having.

"Renesmee," my father said softly.

"Yes," I asked as I turned my attention back to him.

"Walk with me," he said.

I looked at my mother and she smiled at me, taking Jacob's hand and leading him toward the couch. As I watched them walk, my chest throbbed with the thought of them being in danger because of me. I turned back to my father and nodded at him, following him out the back door. We walked to the river and sat down on a fallen tree some one hundred yards down river from the house. I could just see the roof from where we sat. I waited for him to start because he clearly wanted to say something.

"Renesmee, what's going on?" He asked after a time.

"What?" I asked.

"Don't think we haven't noticed," my father continued, "Ever since your birthday party you've been...different."

It was my turn to be quiet. I thought about telling him about the constant nightmares, but my stomach did that weird thing again and I bit my lower lip. Obviously, he knew that I had had at least one nightmare about the Volturi, but he didn't know the extent or frequency of them. My stomach contacted and I sighed. Suddenly, I realized something. I turned to look at my father and saw him frowning at me, his brow creased in concentration. Why hadn't he called me on keeping secrets from him? Shouldn't he have been able to hear what I had just been thinking?

"You can't hear me right now, can you?" I asked.

He looked down and shook his head, "No."

"And this isn't the first time, is it?" It was more of a statement rather than a question.

"No, this isn't the first time," he confirmed.

"Which is what you meant when you asked me what was going on," I said.

"Yes," he frowned, "What did you think I meant?"

"Nothing," I said, too quickly.

"Is there something you'd like to tell me?" He asked.

"I'd be lying if I said no," I replied, "But I...I can't tell you."

"Renesmee, love, you can tell me anything," he said, taking my hand in his, "And I mean that. Whatever is bothering you, let me know. Maybe I can help."

"You can't help me with this, Daddy," I breathed, feeling the tears slide down my cheeks.

He pulled me into his arms then, holding me close, his cheek resting against the top of my head. I clung to him like the child I should have been able to be. In that moment, I wished that I wasn't so mentally and physically advanced. I wanted to be a child. I wanted the liberty of being here, like this, my father holding me in his arms, comforting me, telling me everything would be alright. Even more, I wanted the illusion of it, the ability to believe it. But I was advanced, and I couldn't believe him when he said that I would always be safe. I knew better and I resented it.

I pulled away from his embrace and turned away. I wiped the tears from my eyes furiously.

"Ness," my father began, and I turned to face him again.

I don't know what he saw but whatever it was made him frown. He reached for me again and I shied away from his arms. Immediately, I knew that I had hurt him. His face went blank as his arms dropped to his sides.

"I'm sorry," I said, "But I can't let you do this anymore."

"What?" He asked, his voice edged with something like anger, though not as hot, "Am I not allowed to hold my little girl anymore?"

"I wish I could let you, Daddy, believe me," I replied, "I wish I could be your little girl but I can't. I'm mentally and physically older than my three years, we both know that."

He wouldn't look at me and I could see that ridiculous feeling of guilt flood his eyes before he looked away from me. He got that look in his eyes sometimes, when he looked at my mother and I. It was utterly absurd but still, he felt like he had deprived her and I of something.

"It's not your fault," I said gently, "I'm not blaming you, so please, don't think that. I love you. I just can't pretend to be something I'm not."

I reached for his hand and took it, giving it a gentle squeeze. He returned the pressure as he looked at me again, his eyes roaming over my face as if he were seeing me for the first time.

"You really are so grown up," he replied, his voice rough, "I knew my time with you would be short, but I never dreamed it would be this short. Still, I had hoped..."

He reached for me again and I didn't pull away as he touched my cheek gently. I offered him a smile as new tears filled my eyes. I didn't fight them this time. I didn't care. Somehow, this felt like a goodbye. I blinked to clear my vision, so that I wouldn't lose one second of seeing my father's face clearly. Who knew when I wouldn't be able to see him ever again. I let my eyes roam over his face, much like he had done only moment ago. I memorized his eternally youthful face, made sure that I had it burned into my memory.

"I love you, Daddy," I said again, "You know that, don't you?"

I had to make sure he knew that.

"I know, sweetheart," he replied, his face looking like he might cry too, if he had been able to.

Did he feel it to? The overwhelming press of the end? I threw my arms around him and held him as tightly as I could, and he embraced me back. I pulled away first and smiled at him and he returned it, wiping my tears away with his thumb.

"I guess we should head back to the house," he said, "Carlisle is home now and I'm sure that Jacob is at his wits end, especially if Bella has talked to him."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He took a deep breath and sighed, his eyes searching my face again.

"I'm sure he talked to you this afternoon," he said. My face turned red, and he chuckled, "I take that as a yes. Well, your mother and I discussed it while you were out, before Alice had her vision and... we’ve decided that we'll allow you two to be together."

His words should have made me feel happy, ecstatic, even, but they didn't. Instead, they opened up a new hurt. Of course, I would be allowed to be with Jacob now, with the threat of my end looming in the distance. I tried to smile at him and knew that I missed.

"That is what you want isn't it?" he frowned.

"Of course," I replied.

"Then what's wrong?" he asked.

"It just seems a little like bad timing I guess," I shrugged, "You know, with the Volturi and all."

"Don't worry about them," he said again, "We'll think of something. We're not letting them take you."

I only nodded. I didn't want to argue with him about that subject again. Besides, I was already forming a plan of my own, even if it was one of high personal risk. I would sacrifice anything to keep my loved ones safe, even myself. Especially myself.

"No more worrying," my father said, and I nodded.

And that was all that was said on the subject. We walked back to the house a little slower than human speed.

"Though your mother and I are allowing you and Jacob to be together now," he said, "I still want you to keep that one promise to me."

"No sex before marriage?" I asked and he nodded firmly, "I promise."

"I mean it," he said.

"So do I," I replied.

"I promise too," Jacob said from just outside the house.

My father gave him a very parental look and I couldn't help but smile as I walked up to Jacob. He looked down at me with a smile that clearly said he was the happiest man on the planet. It was hard to feel sad with him smiling at me like that, but still, I managed. My father gave us another look before he walked into the house to talk with my grandfather about the situation. Jacob saw me looking through the window at the strategy makers and shrugged.

"The Doc is gonna look up the others who helped us last time," he informed me, "Esme is calling the Denali’s now."

I looked back at him and saw him watching me. His hand found its way to my cheek again and I sighed. At least we didn't have to pretend anymore. I looked up at him and smiled, though I knew it wasn't a happy one because he frowned.

"What's the matter, baby girl?" He murmured, "I thought you'd be happy now..."

"I am," I said softly, "About you, I mean."

"The Volturi," he said, and I nodded, "We're gonna..."

I reached up and pressed my fingers to his lips to stop him from completing his sentence. I didn't want to hear it again. His hand slid up my arm to cup the hand that was at his lips. His lips brushed my fingertips before he pulled my hand away, gripping it in his. I couldn't breathe past my pulse, which had increased as his hand had glided up my arm.

He bent toward me and I rose up on my tiptoes without a conscious thought. Our lips met lightly and electricity shot through my body, or at least that's what it felt like. I wound my arms around him and held him tightly as I pressed my mouth more firmly over his, reveling in the feeling of his velvet lips against mine and this time, we didn't have to stop. We were allowed to do this.

He picked me up off the ground and supported all of my weight as his lips moved easily with mine. I slid my hand into the warm satin of his hair and that brought a noise from his throat. He broke the kiss first, a chuckle following in the wake of the kiss.

"So, I was wrong," he said, slightly breathless, "Maybe I did want this as much as you did."

I smiled and took his hand, "You would think that after all of this time that you would know that I'm always right."

"I know that you always get what you want," he teased.

"True," I nodded.

I followed him back into the house, my hand firmly within his. None of my family made any comment when they saw us enter, though my Aunt Rose was thinking a few choice things about the matter. The family was grouped around the small coffee table, talking and making plans. As Jacob and I sat down next to my mother and father, my mom gave me a smile and I returned it. I grabbed her hand and showed her how much I appreciated what she and my father had done for me and how much I loved them and her smile widened.

Alice gasped and the room fell silent. Milliseconds later, what she was seeing filled my head. South America was clear. We could see all of it. I knew what that meant. My hand tightened around Jacob's and he looked at me.

"What?" he asked.

"Nahual," Alice said, "He's not where he should be. And Volterra is still a blank."

"I'm next," I said.

The room was a flurry of motion. My family disappeared into different parts of the house, setting whatever plan they had been forming into action. Jacob dropped my hand as he dug in his pocket for his cell phone. He looked back at me and I nodded. I knew what he was going to do. He was going to call the packs, let them know what was going on. I sat on the couch alone, watching my family rush about and then back at Jacob.

It wasn't fair. I had just been allowed to live a life with him and I was about to have it taken away. I wished that I could find my mother, have a chance to say goodbye to her the way I had with my father earlier, though now I understood that his goodbye and mine were two completely different things. He was saying goodbye as a father giving away his daughter to her husband, or that's the way he had seen it. I had been thinking of never seeing him again.

Since everyone was so absorbed in doing whatever it was they were doing, no one noticed me slip out of the house. I didn't stop when I hit the grass, only kept going. I formed my plan quickly, knowing that I only had a small window of time to execute it. Everything had to be exact.

Quickly, I ran for the cottage, thankful that I knew exactly where my parents stored their petty cash. I made it to the cottage in record time, grabbing a bag from my closet and stuffing it full of the clothing that I could easily access. I rushed into my parents’ room and pulled open the bedside table drawer, grabbing two thick rolls of bills and jamming them into my bag, zipping it closed.

A noise startled me and I went still, kneeling beside my parents bed as I listened. Maybe I had imagined it, even so, I rose to my feet and started down the short hallway. As I entered the living room, I was startled by the dark looming figure before me, my scream caught in my throat.

"What are you doing?" Jacob asked as I relearned how to breathe.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"Ness, you can't," he replied, his eyes going wide with horror.

"Jacob, I have too!" I said, "I can't let any of you suffer because of me, not if I can prevent it."

"I won't let you," he shook his head, taking a step toward me.

"Yes, you must," I said, backing away from him, "Please!"

He stopped, looking at the ground.

"I love you," I said, "I love all of you much too much to lose you. All they want is me. Maybe if I go to them, they'll leave the rest of you alone."

"But we don't know what they'll do to you," he said, his voice fierce, "They could be killing the other hybrids."

"They're not," I replied, surprised that it felt like the truth, "They want us alive...I just don't know why."

"How do you know?" He asked.

"I don't know," I admitted, "It just feels true."

Jacob took another step toward me and gripped my arms gently as he looked down at me.

"You're really not going to change your mind, are you?" He asked.

"No," I replied firmly.

"And nothing I can say will persuade you differently?" He asked.

"No," I shook my head, a sinister idea forming in my head, "It's what I want."

His breath came out in a hiss, "No...You can't mean..."

"Jacob," I began.

"Don't," he pleaded, his grip tightening around my arms, but not enough to hurt, "Please don't."

"It will make me happy," I said, and I watched the color drain from his face as his grip loosened.

"I thought I would make you happy," he said, his voice strangely dead. It hurt to hear it, but even so, I had to press on.

"You do make me happy," I replied, "And in order for me to stay happy, I need you to stay alive and the only way that you can do that is if I leave. You have to let me go, Jacob."

He nodded slowly and I reached for him, my hand caressing his cheek before I pressed my hand to his face. I allowed him to see how much I loved him and my family and how it would destroy me if they died because of me. I showed him how I thought that this was the only way and he nodded again. He pulled my hand away from his cheek and placed a soft kiss on my palm.

"What do you need me to do?" he asked.

I sighed with relief, knowing that he would let me go now.

"I need you to take me to the airport," I said, "And then...you need to convince my parents not to come after me."

Jacob winced, "I don't think I could do that...."

"Let my father see what I showed you," I said, "When you get back, let him see. Somehow, you must convince them to let me go."

He nodded again, taking my hand, "Let's get you on a plane."

"Thank you," I nodded.

And it was with that that we dashed off toward the garage, intent on taking the fastest car we could. I prayed that my family would be distracted long enough for us to at least get on the highway. Some luck would be nice. In a house full of vampires, hearing a car engine wasn't hard. Somehow, through some act of deity or fate, we made it, my mom's Ferrari skidded onto the highway and Jacob pushed it to its limits in the direction of Seattle. As I watched the scenery fly by, I knew that the most difficult choice had been made. As I turned to look at Jacob in the driver’s seat, I hope that my decision would be enough.


	13. Goodbye

Jacob sat in the terminal with me, just before the security gates, holding my hand in his. His grip was tight as a vice. His cell phone sat on his leg, closed, and turned off. It had been ringing nonstop about twenty minutes after we had left. We both knew who had been on the other end.

Once we had my flight booked and my ticket in hand, we had wandered slowly to the terminal to wait. My flight was leaving at six-fifteen which gave us little under two hours to wait. An hour of that wait had been spent in silence. While Jacob had sat in a stony silence, I had occupied myself by watching the humans around me. I had little experience in crowds, though I had been in an airport once before, when, last year, my parents had taken me to South America to visit the Amazons. Now, however, the silence was killing me.

"Jacob," I whispered, "Will you please say something?"

He didn't answer me, just continued to stare straight ahead with a dead look in his eyes.

"Jay," I tried again, "Please."

"What do you want me to say, Ness?" he said finally, his voice quiet and not at all like the one I loved.

"Anything," I replied, "Anything would be better than this silence."

"I don't want you to go," he said, "I can't stand the thought of you going to those old bastards by yourself. They could hurt you...They could kill you."

"It doesn't matter," I replied, "As long as you and my family are safe, I'd gladly sacrifice myself."

"Don't say that," he snapped, "Don't you dare say that!"

"It's true," I shrugged.

"And what makes you think that they won't come after us anyway," Jacob continued, "What if they want you but still kill us? How would you feel if you wasted some of your last hours with us to try and save us when we've already been condemned?"

Shock went through me as doubt clouded my mind. What if they did come after my family anyway? What if this was a mistake?

"That didn't occur to you, did it?" Jacob guessed.

"No," I replied, "No, it didn't. But still, I feel..."

"You feel," Jacob huffed, "What are you, Jasper?"

"Don't be mean," I hissed, "I'm trying to do what's best for you."

"And what about you?" Jacob shot back, "Is this what's best for you? God, you can be so much like Bella sometimes! You always think of everyone else before yourself."

"Is that wrong?" I asked, "Or is it better to be selfish and have everyone else around you get hurt because of it? No, that'd be fine as long as you got what you want."

"That's not what I meant," Jacob frowned.

"I'm doing this for the packs, too," I pressed, "I'm trying to save them, too."

"We can take care of ourselves," Jacob protested immediately.

"You might be able to, sure," I nodded, "But what about Emily and Madison? Or how about Sue? What would happen to Claire if Quil died trying to keep her safe?"

"Alright, you made your point," Jacob sighed, "I just...I don't want to lose you."

"Exactly," I nodded, "I don't want to lose you either. Any of you. You're all my family and you've already kept me safe once, now it's my turn to return the favor."

I leaned my head against his bicep and squeezed his hand.

"Your dad is going to be so pissed when I get back," Jacob mumbled, "Used to be, I'd be waiting for a chance at him but now...now I think I'd just let him kill me."

"Shut up," I sighed, "Don't say that. Just think about what I told you. Keep repeating it in your head over and over."

"I'm coming with you," Jacob said suddenly, standing up so abruptly that people stared.

I tugged on his hand until he sat back down and waited for the humans to lose interest in us.

"You can't," I said with finality, "You have to stay here. If you come with me, there'd be no point."

"I don't think I can be away from you," Jacob replied, his face turned up in a grimace.

"You have to try," I replied, "I'm not going to like it either."

He looked down at me and all of the sadness and pain in his eyes brought tears to mine.

"Don't," I breathed, "Don't look at me like that."

"How else do you expect me to look?" He murmured, "I'm never going to see you again."

"No," I whispered, "No, I'll find a way..."

"I don't think that the Volturi offer day passes to their prisoners, Ness," Jacob said.

Before I could stop myself, I threw my arms around him and crushed myself against him. He was right. We'd never see each other again. Tears fell freely as I thought of all the people that I never got a chance to say goodbye to properly. How could I have left them without saying goodbye?

Jacob enveloped me in his huge, burning arms and buried his face in my hair. I pressed my ear to his chest, listening to his strong heartbeat, memorizing the sound of it because I'd never hear it again.

He pulled away and turned my face up toward his. I choked on a sob when I saw the tears that were blurring in his black eyes. He pressed his forehead to mine and just held me as we both cried.

"My last chance to say goodbye and I can't even do it properly," he whispered so low that even I could barely hear him.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I can't kiss you here," he said with sadness in his voice, "There are too many people and you look young and I don't. This was what I meant about the age thing."

"No one is watching us," I said, "I can tell."

And no one was. I heard every thought in the area and they were all too concerned with their own endeavors. No one noticed us at all. We were just two more people in the crowd.

"Go ahead," I sighed, "Please. No one will see, I promise."

He didn't need telling twice. He closed the distance between our lips and crushed his to mine in a furious and desperate kiss. I returned it with equal intensity. After all, this was the last time I could feel his lips against mine and I was going to take advantage of it. Jacob pulled away from me and I frowned.

"Are we still in the clear?" He asked.

"What?" I blinked up at him, dazed.

He chuckled softly and did a quick scan of the terminal. Still, no one was watching us. Jacob smiled before weaving his hands in my hair and pulling me back for another kiss. New tears fell from my eyes as the finality of my decision hit me. This was it. Jacob pulled away and looked at me with the same knowledge in his eyes.

"I love you," he said with firm conviction, "I'll always love you."

"More than my own life," I nodded.

And it was then that I reached up and unclasped the necklace that my mother had given to me on my first Christmas. I held it out to him, and he gave me a startled look.

"Ness, I can't take that," Jacob said softly.

"I want you to have it," I replied, "To remind you every day how much I love you."

He took my outstretched hand and curled my fingers around the locket that was gathered in my palm.

"I don't need a reminder," he smiled softly, "Besides, I don't think your mom would be too happy if you gave that up."

"It's mine to give," I said, opening my hand again.

Jacob looked at the locket, then back at me and sighed, taking it from my hand gently, as if he were afraid to break it. I watched as he put it on and smiled when it turned out to be more of a choker on him than a necklace.

"I think you need a longer chain," I smiled.

He grunted and then sighed again, "I'm never taking this off."

That made me smile wider, "Good....But maybe you should, you know, when you phase."

He chuckled at my delayed second reaction but dipped his head in a nod, "Right, with that one exception, of course."

Jacob looked past my head at the clock on the wall and frowned. 

“You should probably go through security now,” he mumbled sullenly. 

An irrational surge of panic constricted my chest and I groped for Jacob's hand. He found mine and gave it a firm squeeze. I turned wide eyes to his face and saw the most heartbreaking look I have ever seen. It was a mixture of so many things, love, pain, defeat, acceptance and even a little bit of pride.

The people around us milled past me, every one of them passing through the security check point line, but I just sat in my seat, staring into Jacob's defeated eyes. Tears were pooling down my cheeks silently as I gazed at him. He leaned forward and pressed his warm lips to my forehead and ran his thumb over my wet cheekbones gently. I reached up and pressed my hand to his cheek and showed him all my happiest memories of us together. A soft, sad smile graced his lips as his eyes fluttered open to stare at me again. I let my hand trail down his cheek to touch the place where my locket lay against the indentation between his collar bones.

"More than my own life," I murmured again.

He nodded and stood up, drawing me to my feet with him, "You have a plane to catch."

More tears streamed from my eyes to hear him say that with such a dead voice and those haunted eyes. My heart squeezed painfully as I threw my arms around him once more. He squeezed me harder than he ever had before, but I took it. My last touch of him. I gazed up at him and threw caution to the wind. I stood on my toes and snaked my hand into the warm hair at the nape of his neck and pulled his face down toward mine.

I kissed him with reckless abandon, pressing my lips to his with a force that made him gasp. He responded eagerly, wrapping his arms more firmly around my waist and picking me up off the ground, bringing us closer together. I melted into him, losing myself to the feeling of his so warm lips moving with mine. Suddenly and without any kind of warning at all, his tongue ran lightly along my lower lip making me shudder and open my mouth to him instinctively. And then his tongue slipped between my parted lips to caress mine with a feeling that sent an almost painful, but still wonderfully electric current through my entire body bringing a soft moan from my throat.

And that seemed to be the switch. Jacob pulled away from me with a breathless chuckle, some measure of light brightening his eyes. I frowned up at him, having not been ready to end that kiss so quickly. He smiled again and smoothed my hair away from my face. 

"I'll always be waiting for you," he whispered, "So if you ever can, try and come back to me."

"I will," I nodded, "Take care of yourself for me, okay?"

He nodded as I touched the locket at his throat again, "And take care of my parents, too."

"No problem," he agreed, "And you be careful."

"As much as I can be," I replied, "I love you, my Jacob."

"I love you too, Renesmee," he smiled, pulling away from me reluctantly, "You better get going."

I nodded, more tears just leaking from my eyes. I let go of the hand I was still holding and fought to keep breathing when I wasn't physically connected to him anymore. I turned toward the line for the security check point and trudged toward it, ignoring the security officer who was openly gaping at me as I walked past her. As I walked down the line and through the metal detectors, I glanced over my shoulder at the tall, dark man standing alone in the terminal, watching me go with such a look of love that I started crying again.

I kept my eyes on him for as long as I could before I rounded the corner, wishing that the hallway toward the gates had windows so that I could keep my eyes on him for as long as possible. They say never to look back, but when you're not sure what lies ahead, what else is there but looking back?


	14. Volterra

I dreamed and for the first time in a long time, it wasn't a nightmare. It was snowing in Forks and I was standing in the open field with my parents. We were having a picnic of sorts, well, all of the food was splayed out across the crimson blanket for Jacob, whom I knew was somewhere in the forest, phasing into his human form. I cast my eyes around the ring of trees, seeking him out expectantly. My keen eyes caught him striding towards us in his cut off jeans, his muscled torso bare to the elements that I knew bothered him as little as they bothered me.

He smiled when my eyes met his from the impossible distance. My heart sped just with that innocent act. Beside me my mother laughed, loud and musical. I turned toward her to see her leaning against my father, a knowing smile on her lips. I glanced at her sheepishly and peeked at my father through my lashes. He chuckled but didn't say anything harsh about my reaction to Jacob.

And then I was enveloped in warmth and a wave of peace stole over me. I sighed in contentment as I leaned into Jacob's arms. I could feel his heart beat, strong and stead against my shoulders where they were pressed lovingly against his strong chest. His perfect lips brushed my temple and I sighed again. Here, in the field with the three people I loved most in the entire universe, I was home.

I started awake as the plane gave a jolting lurch. I blinked into the dimly lit cabin and heard the chorus of mummers from my fellow travelers. I became aware of the tears that had fallen from my eyes when I felt the annoying itch of the salt drying on my cheeks. I rubbed my cheeks clean and sat up in my seat, gazing out of my window. We were gliding down the runway at the airport and I frowned when I realized that I had slept for the entire length of the last leg of my journey.

I thought of my dream and my heart squeezed in on itself so painfully that I actually winced against the pain. The mechanical voice of the pilot echoed through the cabin, announcing our arrival and giving instruction on how to disembark. The stewards and stewardesses seemed to come out of the wood work and a very pretty woman with caramel colored skin slid into the empty seat next to me, offering me a very white smile. I knew from her thoughts that she had been charged with keeping an eye on me, since I looked so young and was claiming to be fifteen.

"I was wondering if I was going to get to see those eyes," she smiled, her voice was kind, like the light brown of her eyes, "And such a pretty shade of brown they are."

"Thank you," I replied, "They're my mother's."

"I bet she misses you very much," the woman replied.

My throat closed as I imagined the panic and the hurt that my parents must be feeling right this very second, "Yes. I imagine that she does."

Around us, the other passengers began to stand and extricate their belongings from the overheard compartments. The woman, who's name tag read Mina sat with me until the plane was nearly empty. Mina stood and escorted me off the plane with a happy smile. She only let me out of her watchful gaze when I pretended to spot my guardian in the milling crowd. I thanked her for her kindness before I scurried away, hoping to be swallowed up amongst the crowd.

As I wandered through the terminal, it occurred to me that I had no idea where I was going. I hadn't thought that far ahead. I had only been concerned with getting out of Forks and into Italy before my parents could stop me. I stopped walking and stood in the middle of a busy hallway, feeling lost and utterly hopeless. I pulled my bag, the only luggage that I had brought, to my chest and opened it. I still had a roll and a half of cash left. Maybe I could catch a bus or something.

I looked up and choked on the last breath that I had drawn. Standing before me were two men dressed head to toe in dark gray, nearly black suits. Everything they wore was the same uniform gray, like the sky just before the rain, from the tips of their gloved hands to the toes of their expensive dress shoes. Their skin was an odd shade of pale that most certainly had been of an olive tone when they had been human. One was tall and thin with dark hair that waved to a stop just above his shoulders, the other was tall and broad of muscle with short, dark, cropped hair. They were both wearing black sunglasses even though it was night outside. I didn't need to see their eyes to know that they would be the dark burgundy of vampires who drank human blood.

"Demetri," I choked, "Felix. What a pleasant surprise."

Demetri inclined his head and Felix smiled at me.

"None are more surprised than the Masters," Demetri replied, his voice smooth, soothing, "Come, we shall take you to Volterra."

Ice slid down my spine at the prospect, but I really had no other choice. Besides, wasn't this what I had come here for, to surrender myself to the Volturi? I swallowed hard before I stepped between them, showing them that I was a willing prisoner and hoping that no force would be necessary. I still didn't know just how breakable I was or wasn’t, but I definitely wasn't willing to give them the opportunity to find a chink in my armor big enough for me to die through.

As we left the bustling airport, I had to suppress a surprised gasp when I followed the guard to the sleek black car that idled by the curb. I really didn't know what I had been expecting, but it wasn't this. Demetri slid in first and Felix held the door for me.

"Ladies first," he said, his voice deep, but no less smooth as he offered me a smile.

I shuddered but slid in beside Demetri, Felix following behind me as he shut the door. I was shocked to notice just how much room there was in the car, Demetri, Felix and I fit comfortably side by side and that was saying something because Felix was a very physically opposing man. Once the door was shut, the car pulled away from the curb, smoothly merging into the airport traffic. I could hardly see through the dark, dark tinted windows.

A thick, uncomfortable silence filled the car and I allowed myself to look around the interior. The driver was hidden from my view by a black partition. I wondered if the driver was another guard or a human who was offering their services to the vampires in hopes that they might be offered a more permanent position.

"So," I said at length, needing the silence to end, "How did you know that I was here?"

"We have procured a new member," Demetri replied, "And my own talent also played a pivotal part."

"Because you're a Tracker," I said and he nodded once, "And Aro knows that I'm here?"

"Of course," Demetri said, "He is anxiously awaiting your arrival."

 _I just bet he is_ , I thought darkly.

The rest of the car ride was silent. I sat between my two wardens in a state of dread. What if they did mean me harm? No, they couldn't possibly. Surely, if they had been sent to kill me, they would have done so once they got me away from the humans. Unless, of course, they were under orders to take me to Aro so that he could do the deed himself. I shuddered and Felix looked down at me from the corner of his eyes, which I could see through my peripheral, even though he was still wearing his sunglasses.

It seemed to take an eternity to reach the city. The road turned very curvy toward the last leg of our journey and soon I could feel the car vibrate slightly, as if it were driving over cobblestone rather than pavement. The car rolled to a smooth stop and Felix opened the door and got out. I looked at Demetri and he nodded his head. I slid out of the car, shying away from the large hand that Felix had offered me out of instinct. He didn't seem offended by my rejection, only shrugged his powerful shoulders and moved aside so that Demetri could exit the car after me.

We were standing in what looked like an old barn, though the walls were made of stone. The car fit neatly in the center of a row of other, sleek black cars. I realized that we were standing in a garage. Well, I guess the Volturi were more civilized than I had first come to perceive. Felix cleared his throat beside me, and I jumped. It took me a moment to realize that Demetri was waiting for us by a large curving staircase. I felt myself blush as I hurried after him, feeling Felix's large presence behind me.

We ascended the stairs until we reached a landing that was made of the same stone that the garage had been made out of. There were no windows along the drafty hallway we walked. Only torches lit our path.

"Are we underground?" I asked curiously as we continued through the unmarred stone hallway.

"Yes," Demetri replied simply.

"It won't be for long," Felix supplied, "The Masters are receiving you in the tower."

"The tower," I repeated, "What, are we under a castle or something?"

"Something," Felix smiled and shrugged.

The rest of the walk was a labyrinth of hallways, some paneled in dark wood, some carved out of rough rock and others that were made of something that looked a lot like marble. Finally, we reached a door made of steel. Felix opened it and I frowned. The hallway beyond was dark and I sighed as we continued on through the door. It slammed shut behind me with a rather ominous and definitive clang.

"How long does this tunnel go, exactly," I muttered.

Felix chuckled, "A while. Our tunnels run through most of the city, connecting various chambers and our rooms..."

I stared up at the large man beside me, "You have rooms?"

"Of course," Demetri nodded.

"There's also the dungeons," Felix continued to list off the various rooms as if neither I nor Demetri had spoken, "And the kitchen, the laundry room, the servant’s quarters...."

"Felix," Demetri cut him off and Felix fell silent.

 _Imbecile_ , came Demetri's inner monologue, _Revealing all of our secrets to this girl before we even know if she will be staying. I knew it was a bad idea to bring him along_.

Goosebumps marched up my arms at hearing his thoughts. I tried not to think as I continued to walk down the dark corridor in between them. The floor beneath us began to slant downwards and I distracted myself with wondering how far down we were going but inevitably, my thoughts turned against me when I thought about what might be awaiting me when we arrived at our destination. Presently, we came to a grate and a small door beyond it. As we walked through the door, I blinked furiously against the bright lights that assaulted my eyes.

As my vision adjusted, I could see an elevator at the end of the white, bright hallway. We approached it and Demetri pressed the button and the doors sprang open. We stepped inside and I watched both Demetri and Felix take off their sunglasses, folding them and tucking them neatly into a hidden pocket inside their matching suit jackets.

The elevator doors opened, and I stepped out into what looked a lot like an office or reception area, complete with a greeting counter, vases filled with bright and cheery flower arrangements and landscape paintings. Directly across from us, there was a set of double doors which were closed. Felix barreled ahead of us and opened one side of the doors for Demetri and I. As we stepped into the corridor beyond, I froze in my tracks. My breath caught in my throat as I beheld the sight in front of me, barely aware that my escorts had moved on halfway up the hall, holding a door open for me.

I gaped at the gilded doors before me like a fish out of water. My nightmares came back to me in visions like flashbulbs before my open eyes. A hand touched my shoulder and I jerked away from it with a shriek, my other shoulder colliding with the stone wall beside me. My heart thrummed in panic as I gasped down air, trying to calm down. This was no time to go into hysterics. Felix loomed before me, blocking my view of the door from my nightmares, his hands raised as if to show me that he meant me no harm.

"What is this?" came the reasonable, yet still terrifying voice of another one of my nightmares.

Felix backed away from me hastily and I could see Aro glide through the open door off to my left, his black cloak trailing behind him like a shadow. Just before him and a little to the sides came Jane and Alec, flanking him as if they were prepared for an attack. Behind stood the other two ruling members of the Volturi, Caius and Marcus. Aro drifted forward and Jane reached for him.

"Master, I don't think..." she began in her child's voice.

"Come now, dear one," Aro said gently, "Renesmee means me no harm. Why, the poor dear is scared out of her wits. Listen to her strange heart fly."

At his last words, my heart sped faster. His tone had meant to sound soothing, but his words were only menacing to me as he drifted closer, but still just out of my reach. He turned his odd filmy red eyes on Felix and his translucent features rearranged themselves into disapproval.

"Felix, what have you done to frighten her so?" He tisked, like a disapproving parent.

"Nothing, Master," Felix replied quickly, "We were just about to join you when she screamed."

"Demetri, is this the truth?" Aro turned to Demetri with dark brows raised.

"Indeed, Master," Demetri replied with a slight bow of his head, "I cannot say what startled her, but it was through no fault of my own, or Felix's."

Aro turned his gaze back on me, his eyes full of patience. He extended a withered hand to me and I eyed it warily, my newly controlled breathing becoming ragged again with the gesture that haunted my dreams. Aro heard my strange reaction to his seemingly innocuous intent and smiled, never moving his hand.

"Fear not, little one," he said, his voice gentle, "I mean you no harm."

I stared at him and my face must have betrayed the doubt I felt because Aro laughed. As I stared, I listened to his mind. I searched his thoughts and found no malicious intent. Truly, he wasn't going to hurt me. Perplexed, I took a step toward him and his laughter died immediately, his face a mask of a feverish anticipation. My hand hovered over his and I had a second to wonder whether or not I should touch him. After all, he didn't know about my new abilities and I was less than enthusiastic to show him that. It seemed that I didn't have a choice in the matter. Aro closed his hand around mine and I braced myself for the inevitable.

Aro continued to smile at me, and I gaped at him. Where was the surprise? The outrage? Wouldn't he be curious? And then his brow furrowed.

"What is there for me to be curious about, dear one?" He asked me and my jaw unhinged slightly.

I pulled my hand back and he allowed me to do it, shockingly, "About why I'm here."

"Well, of course I'm not curious about that," Aro smiled, "I'm well aware of Alice's talents and of course I knew that she would be spying on us after our rather....inhospitable meeting last time."

He was partly right so I made no move to correct him, still reeling over the fact that he hadn't reacted in any way to the knowledge of my new abilities....Unless...A shining thought occurred to me. I hand my mother's abilities.....I was part Shield...But then, why had he been able to see my thoughts at all? It must have been my own power of projecting my thoughts that allowed him to see...I frowned at all of the questions that just exploded into my head with the realization of my theory.

Aro was looking at me with an amused smirk on his face, "Shall we adjourn to the tower? This hallway is a little cramped for so many."

I nodded and followed him though the open door, cringing away from Jane as she bustled past me to be at Aro's side. As I stepped into the room, I could see that we were inside what looked like a hallowed-out castle turret. There were long slatted windows through which stars were visible. There was no furniture in the room save three wooden thrones that were pressed against the stone walls. In the center of the room was a drain and I briefly wondered what it was used for before deciding that I really didn’t want to know.

The crowd that had been in the hallway scattered once inside the room. Demetri and Felix went to stand in between the thrones, one in each gap. Aro drifted to the one in the very center, Marcus, the one to right and Caius to the left. They each sat down and stared at me, standing in the middle of the room, uncertainly. I noticed a pale, blond woman standing to Aro's right, her skin and eyes were the same strange constitution as Aro's and her cloak, just as black, stood open, reveling a long, black dress. Another blond woman, with hair shorter than the one at Aro's side stood beside Caius, her hand resting idly on his shoulder. Marcus, I noted, sat alone.

Aro saw me scrutinizing the woman at his side and smiled, his hand lifting up and stroking the woman's bare arm. She looked down at him and smiled.

"My wife, Sulpicia," Aro explained and the woman nodded at me once, her expression cold and aloof, "But let's save the introductions for latter. You'll have plenty of time to get to know everyone."

His false enthusiasm was starting to wear on my already frazzled nerves. The fear in me had staved off the jet lag, but now I was starting to feel it. I stood in the center of the room and tried not to allow my shoulders to slump. Aro was regarding me with keen eyes and I didn't much care anymore.

"You must be exhausted from your journey," Aro said at length, "I keep forgetting that you hybrids need your rest. However, before you are shown to your room, I must insist on setting some rules."

My _room_? Wasn't I a prisoner here? I blinked at Aro silently, waiting for him to speak again.

"Of course, I must ask you to stay within the city walls," he began, "It wouldn't do to allow you to wander off. We have human food available, if you should feel so inclined, however, there are an abundance of other food choices that are delivered every day, fresh to our door."

I shuddered at the thought, my vegetarian upbringing causing me to balk at the implication in his words. Though I detested human food, it seemed that I would have no other option.

"That will be all for now," Aro smiled, "Heidi, dear, will you show young Renesmee to her room?"

"Yes, Master," said the statuesque vampire that was waiting in the wings.

She sauntered over to me with a pleasant smile on her face, her mahogany hair swinging behind her. I peeked up at her through my lashed and she nodded at me and turned to exit the room. I looked behind me at Aro, who was watching me as if he were waiting for me to run screaming into the night. I offered him a clipped smile and took my leave, ignoring the gilded doors at the end of the hall and catching up to Heidi quickly.

She was waiting for me by the elevators, her delicate hand keeping the doors open for me. I entered the elevator and the doors slid shut behind me. To my surprise, instead of going down, we went up.

The ride was short, and the doors opened into yet another corridor. I sighed as I followed my escort down yet another stone hallway. I all but gasped when I saw the windows set in intervals along the corridor. Outside, the stone buildings of Volterra serrated the blue-black night, the waning moon hanging heavy in the sky. Heidi made a sharp turn and I jerked to follow after her, casting a longing glace at the sky before I headed down a windowless walk. We continued down a short flight of stairs and made another sharp turn into another dark hall, this one lined with five doors, two on the right and three on the left.

Halfway down the corridor, Heidi stopped, facing a door on the right.

"This is your room," she announced, producing a key and shoving it into the lock. The tumblers caught and she twisted the doorknob. The door gave way with a loud protesting groan, rust flakes falling from the hinges. It seemed that this room hadn't been used in a very long time. I wandered in and looked around. The room smelled stale and moldy. The air was damp and sticky. Heidi glided past me and suddenly there was light. She stood beside a large cherry four poster that was draped with cream silks. The furniture in the room looked new and the pewter lamp beside the bed was powered by electricity.

Heidi sauntered over to a large wardrobe that stood open and gaping across from the massive bed.

"We didn't have time to prepare a wardrobe for you," she smiled apologetically, "But now that you're here, we can get your measurements and arrange a fitting."

"For what?" I blinked at her.

"For clothes," Heidi replied, as if it should have been obvious, "Unless, of course, you prefer to run around naked?"

"Of course not," I replied indigently, "I have my own clothes."

Sort of. I wasn't really sure of what I had packed, exactly. For all I knew, I could have grabbed five pairs of pants.

"Nevertheless," she waved my comment aside, "You will have new clothes tailor made. I trust that this room is acceptable?"

I nodded. It was more than acceptable; it was downright unexpected. I was thinking I would be locked away in some drafty cell, not a room that looked like it belonged in a five-star hotel. Or that I would be getting my own personal wardrobe. Instantly, I didn't like all of the hospitality that was being thrown at me. It seemed too good to be true. Heidi looked at me for a moment before she walked over to a door that I hadn't noticed.

"The washroom," she announced, "I don't think you need a guided tour of that?"

"No, thanks, I think I can figure it out," I replied, if not a bit more hostile than I would have liked.

If she was offended by my tone, she didn't show it. Instead, she nodded once and walked back to the door, closing it behind her. Before the door was completely closed, she peeked back in.

"Oh, and don't think of wandering off," she said offhandedly, "Someone will come to collect you in the morning."

And with that she shut the door. I listened for the sound of the key turning the lock but it never came. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end when the thought of the uncharacteristic charity came again. I wandered over to the bed that loomed so invitingly before me. I sat down on the edge and sighed. I took my bag from my shoulder and set it down, falling back onto the mattress. The bed was as soft as a cloud. I kicked off my shoes and crawled further onto the mattress, my body felt sluggish and exhausted as I collapsed in the middle of the bed. It wasn't long until sleep claimed me.


	15. Rude Awakening

I was back in that hallway again, the one I now knew existed in the corporeal world. The air at my back was thick and filled with the pressure of some presence behind me. The gilded door swung wide and gaping, opening like a mouth that would swallow me whole. I stood frozen in the hallway. Something was different. This wasn't how the dream happened before. It changed.

Something darker than the shadows beyond the door shifted and my breath caught in my throat. Again, the dark mass jerked in my direction and all of the fine hairs on my body stood on end. I closed my eyes against the image, fear constricting my chest with an icy pressure, making my breath come in ragged gasps. I opened my eyes and choked on a scream when I saw the veiled woman standing before me, her black dress tattered and torn, her seared arms reaching for me as I backed away.

_You must help them, Renesmee_ , came her ragged, voice as she advanced on me, _You must help them see the truth of what they have become_.

My back hit the wall behind me, and I screamed as her rotted, burning stench stung my nose, her hands inches away from my tear-stained cheeks. Someone was holding me down to the bed and I struck out against them. A low oath made me flail harder because it was no voice I knew but then I stopped when I realized that there was another heart beat thrumming away besides my own and that the hands that held me were not the icy fingers of a vampire, but warm.

My eyes flew open and I was left staring into teak colored eyes that I knew. His dark brows were wrinkled in concern. I flung my arms around him, happy to see him, though rationally, I should have known that he would be here.

"Oh, Nahuel," I breathed into his long, braided hair, "You have no idea how happy I am to see you!"

"Renesmee," he said back, holding me to him, "What are you doing here? What happened? Are you alright?" 

I pulled away from him and looked him in the eye. He kept one hand resting on my waist as he scrutinized me back, a small crease between his brows. He was assessing me for any signs of external trauma.

"I'm alright," I assured him, "Sort of."

"Then why did you scream?" He asked.

"I had a nightmare," I replied quickly.

"What are you doing here," he asked again, his tone soft, sad almost.

"I gave myself up," I told him, "When Alice saw that you were gone and that Volterra had disappeared from her Sight, I knew what they were up to and I came here on my own."

"Why would you do that," he glared at me, almost as if he were angry with me.

"I had to," I told him, a little shocked by his reaction, "I didn't want them to come for me so I came to them....I wanted to spare my family."

The hiss he made was low and startling and I cringed away from him. His face quickly turned to one of remorse when he saw that he had scared me and then turned to an agonizing pain that made my stomach turn flips with dread. He dropped my gaze and shifted away from me, sitting on the edge of the mattress. I scooted closer to him, placing my hand on the smooth curve of his shoulder and he flinched as if I had burned him. I dropped my hand to my lap.

"Nahuel," I whispered, "What's wrong?"

"You did the right thing by coming here, Renesmee," he said quietly and my heart speed up, seeing his memories play out before me.

"They killed Huilen," I choked out, and he looked at me, his eyes tight but the pain within them was raw and fresh.

"How did you know," he asked softly.

"It wasn't hard to guess," I replied quickly, knowing that I shouldn't tell anyone about my extra abilities, not even the only person here that I might actually call a friend.

"You are not wrong," he said, hanging his head, "When they came for me, they offered me a place with them to which I refused. I had seen their cruelty when I helped you not so long ago and I wanted no part of it, just as I wanted no part of what my father had been doing. When I refused them, they attacked. The boy, he used his crippling mist and the next thing I remember, I was being dragged away but I could smell it in the air, the sweet perfume of Huilen being burned. I could still hear her screams and the smoke was thick, visible even through the dense brush of the rain forest."

His voice was choked, and my own throat was swollen with horror and grief. I put my hand on his shoulder again and this time, he did not move away.

"I'm so sorry, Nahuel," I said thickly, "That's awful."

"She was the only home I had ever known," he continued, "And now she's gone."

Thick tears rolled down my cheeks as silence fell over the room. I don't know how long we sat in the silent dark, but after a time, Nahuel moved under my hand, standing up and looking down at me, his expression masked by the shadows.

"Why are we here," I asked, "Do you know why they want us?"

"I cannot say," he replied, "I have been here little longer than you, but my sisters have been here longer, perhaps they know."

"Your sisters?" I asked, "So does that mean that your father..."

"Yes," he said, and the word was like venom, "He’s here."

"And they’ve kept him alive?” I asked, more to myself than him.

"For the moment, yes.” he replied, "But if they killed him, I would not mourn _his_ passing."

"That's not a very nice thing to say," I replied, "I mean your sisters..."

"I don't care about them, either," he snapped, "They are not my concern."

I gaped up at him from my position in the middle of my bed. How could he say that about the people who shared his blood?

"They're your family," I muttered.

"Only by blood," he replied curtly, "But they did not care for me. They did not raise me from babe to man. Huilen did that and now she is dead. My only true family is dead. Besides, those creatures that slumber in the other rooms are no better than our father is. He raised them, after all."

"How do you know?" I asked, "Have you even tried to speak to them? Maybe they're different."

Nahuel looked at me then, the cold rage that had been on his face moments before softened and a smile flirted at the edge of his full lips.

"You see everything so brightly," he replied, "Even in this dark place."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I kept quiet.

"I will leave you now," he replied, "I hope no more demons come to trouble your rest for there will be plenty to face when the sun rises."

And with that, he walked out the door, closing it soundly behind him. I pricked my ears, hoping to learn the location of his room. I heard a door open and close and tried to discern its proximity to mine. I listened harder and figured that his room was right next to mine and a small smile lifted my lips. At least he was close. 

I sat in bed and cast another glance around the room that I had been given. There was no window in here, so every corner was cast in a deep shadow. Suddenly, I bolted out of bed, dropping to my knees beside my bag, which I had discarded on the floor. I pulled it open and dug through the clothes and the money, praying that I had remembered this one object. My hand scrapped the bottom of the bag and my heart fell. I threw the bag away from me and flung myself on the bed, stupid tears collecting in my eyes.

I had forgotten it, the one thing that could save my sanity throughout this mess, for however long I might have to endure it. I had left Rusty, my stuffed wolf at home. I smashed my hands to my eyes and tried not to cry over the stuffed animal that was sitting so neatly on my pillow, guarding the bed until I came home. But I never would. Rusty would sit there forever while I lived out my life in a place that I loathed with vampires that might kill me whenever they lost interest.

I didn't sleep again for the rest of the night. I was sitting in the middle of the bed when the door opened, and a petite brunette woman entered the room. Her face was pretty and young, frozen for all eternity at an age close to eighteen. She was wearing tight jeans and a flowing top. I realized why I recognized her. She had been in one of my nightmares, the woman who had been fighting Jacob, Chelsea. My eyes narrowed as she glided into the room, a smile on her face, trying to gain my trust with pleasantries.

"Good morning," she sang, "How did you sleep?"

"Horribly," I replied.

She frowned, "I'm sorry to hear that."

Liar. She stopped at my bedside and sat down on the edge of the mattress as if we were old friends and I frowned. She wasn't paying any attention to me at the moment though. Instead, she was staring at my bag, which was at the foot of my bed, half its contents littering the stone floor.

"Is there something you wanted?" I asked, none too kindly.

"I'm here to collect you," she replied, turning her burgundy eyes back on me, "Heidi did mention that someone would be by, I imagine?"

"She did," I nodded curtly.

"Then rise and shine," she smiled again, and I narrowed my eyes.

Her smile faltered a fraction of an inch at my hostility. She nodded to herself once before she stood up and seated herself gracefully across the room in the armchair angled in the corner. I remained where I was, unmoving. She was thinking several resentful things about me all while wearing a bright and completely fake smile. I felt an uncharacteristic urge to hit her and balked at the thought, appalled at myself.

"Really, Renesmee, don't make me carry you out of here," she said in a sweet voice, though her mind said that she would rather do that then deal with me.

"Tell me something," I said, forcing my voice to be soft, innocent, "What will I be subjected to today?"

She looked at me and gave one long slow blink, "Subjected? You sound as if you expect me to be dragging you to the dungeons to get tortured."

"Aren't you?" I asked, my voice still that careful innocence.

"Not today," she replied, and it was the first honest thing she had said.

We stared at each other for a moment longer and I sighed. I climbed to the edge of the mattress and dropped to the floor. Her smile was real this time as she stood to meet me. I took a step back from her as she came toward me, the small of my back bumping against the edge of the mattress and her smile widened in amusement.

"Wait," I said, and her smile slipped again.

"Yes?" She asked with barley contained exasperation.

"Can't I use the bathroom?" I asked in a small voice, "I never had a chance to clean up after my trip."

She took a slow, unneeded breath and let it out, "I suppose, but make it quick. The Masters do not like to be kept waiting."

I scurried to the bathroom, pausing long enough to gather my things and stuff them back into my bag, taking the entire thing with me into the bathroom. I shut the door behind me firmly and when I turned around, the bag slipped out of my hands and fell to the marbled floor with a soft _thud_. My jaw unhinged slightly as I took in the surprisingly large room before me. 

The floor was made of black marble that was run through with silver veins. A long counter made of a dark stained wood lined half of the right hand wall, its countertops matched the floor perfectly and was topped with two curving silver basins that served as the sinks, the waterfall faucets above them gleamed silver. The mirror behind the counter was rimmed with a thick gilded border and reflected the other side of the room back to me. Beside the counter stood the marbled toilet. I turned my head and observed the elegant bathtub made of the same marble as the floor. The faucet was silver carved in the shape of a swan, its open wings served as the knobs and its neck swooped in a graceful arch, its beak gaping, where the water would flow. Beside it stood a glass door where a shower made of smooth river rocks waited, like the sinks, it had a waterfall faucet. The whole room was absolutely gorgeous. 

I snapped my mouth shut and disrobed quickly, resisting the urge to draw a bath in the gorgeous tub and stepped into the shower instead. I turned the hot water knob that was carved in the shape of a silver rose and the water fell around me. I hastily washed myself with the soft smelling soaps that stood waiting in the shower before rinsing off and getting out. 

The towels were soft and smelled of fresh laundry. I hastily dried off and dried my hair as best I could before I rummaged in my bag for my clothes. Thankfully, I had managed to grab at least one complete set of new clothing. I pulled on the soft ice blue sweater and crisp blue jeans and fumbled for my hairbrush. I ran it through my rapidly curling hair and decided to put it up. I found a silver ribbon and gathered my hair into a ponytail before I tired the ribbon around it, knotting it into a bow.

Impatient thoughts invaded my mind seconds before Chelsea rapped sharply on the door. I opened it and met her gaze.

"Done," I smiled sweetly.

"Good," she replied before turning on her heels and stalking gracefully toward the door.

She never looked back, assuming I would follow at her heels. I did. I wasn't sure just how far I could push her before she’d hurt me. 

I followed her through the castle back the way Heidi has taken me the night before. When we passed by the windows, Chelsea kept out of any direct light that filtered through them, though there wasn’t much due to the hour. The sky I could see beyond still looked like the light blue of early morning. My heart stuttered when I thought of my parents, my family. How heartbroken they must be. I could only hope that by some miracle, Jacob had convinced them not to follow me here. 

With that depressing thought, I realized that Chelsea had stopped just before the doors that would lead us into the room in which Aro had received me yesterday, which I dubbed the throne room. She pushed through the doors and I followed sullenly behind her. Aro, Caius and Marcus were all seated in their chairs seemingly waiting for us. Aro smiled when she saw me.

“Ah, dear Renesmee,” he called, “I trust you found your room to your liking?’

“Yes, thank you,” I replied politely, not daring to sass Aro like I had Chelsea. 

“Good, good,” he smiled, “We want you to be comfortable here.”

_Because you will never leave this place again_ Aro’s thoughts echoed what I already knew. 

“Thank you,” I forced myself to say again.  
“Are you hungry?” Aro asked, “We have a tour group scheduled for this morning, if you would like to partake.”

“That’s very generous of you,” I began, “But I don’t feast on human blood.”

“But of course,” Aro nodded, “Sometimes I do forget how Carlisle and his brood choose to live. I have been told that you can survive on human food. Chelsea, please show our dear Renesmee to the kitchens, won’t you?”

“Yes, Master,” Chelsea bowed before turning toward the door. 

I stood where I was.

“Aro,” I said to his turned back.

He stopped where he stood and turned back toward me, a look of impatience in his eye for only the briefest of moments, but I had seen it. 

“Yes, my dear?” he asked sweetly. 

“Why have you been collecting the hybrids?” I asked, trying to get down to the point.

“All in good time,” he smiled brightly again, his thoughts briefly turned to Nahuel and I frowned.

I opened my mouth to press the issue but then thought better of it. I walked over to Chelsea and followed behind her again, this time trying to pay attention to where we were going. I would need to learn the layout of this place if I would be forced to live here. We got back into the elevator and took it to the first floor, which was the lowest point of their home.

The elevator door opened to a drafty hallway lite by harsh fluorescent tube lights which were hung against the ceiling. We walked a few paces away from the hallway and turned left into a large room filled with state-of-the-art kitchen appliances. There were only two people in the room as we entered, and they straightened to attention when Chelsea entered the room. I could hear their heartbeats, so I knew they were human. One of them was a wizened older gentleman who had sallow skin and thinning hair under his chef’s hat and the other was a little older than my Jacob, but he was also strangely pale and had dark circles under his eyes. 

“The girl is hungry,” Chelsea spoke in fluid Italian, “Make her something to eat.”

They both stared at me for a moment, clearly confused as to why they would need to cook for me. Chelsea’s thoughts turned dark when they stalled and she slammed her hand down onto the nearest stainless-steel surface, causing a dent as well as a loud bang. This startled the two men into action, and they began cooking.

It wasn’t long before the younger gentleman presented me with an omelet. He bowed low as he handed it to me, keeping an eye on Chelsea where she leaned against one of the counters. I took it from him with a smile. As I took the plate, I noticed a long line of puncture marks running up the length of his arms and frowned. He began apologizing to me when he saw me frown, mistaking the intentions of it. I smiled at him again and began to eat the omelet. It was very tasty, for human food. I finished it off quickly, not realizing how hungry I had been. When I had cleaned my plate, the younger gentlemen collected it from me. 

“Grazie,” I said to him which earned me a small smile.

Chelsea appeared then and ushered me from the room turning me in the direction of the elevator again.

“What else is down here?” I asked, looking over my shoulder.

“The laundry room, the slave quarters, and the dungeons,” she said.

“Slave quarters?” I questioned. 

“Yes,” she replied impatiently, “Like the two in the kitchen. We have humans here to do the menial tasks such as housekeeping and the like.”

“Why do you have a kitchen?” I asked as we took the elevator back to the ground floor.

“To ensure that our slaves do not starve,” she shrugged. 

My thoughts turned to the puncture marks I saw on the young man’s arms.

“Do you…” I began but then choked on the words, “Do you…feed on them?”

Chelsea looked at me then, a long, searching look, trying to decide on what she should tell me. But she didn’t need to speak. I saw her thoughts of the young kitchen boy being held down to a table while someone inserted a needle into his skin that was attached to a long tube. His blood began to flow from his arm into a blood bag. I shuddered at the horrendous image. They brought victims into the castle to feed, why would they need to subject their human staff to such things? And more so, why didn’t they just kill them? It was clear that they didn’t hold human life in high regard. 

Chelsea never answered me aloud and when the doors slid open, we were on the ground level of the castle. This was where the main entrance into the castle was located, the one the Volturi never used. We walked into a bright and cheery reception area where a pretty human receptionist sat. Chelsea ignored her as she marched me through to one of the doors behind the receptionist, ushering me through it. 

When I walked into the room, there was another human woman waiting in front of a full-length mirror. There was a small raised platform in the middle of the room. The woman was impeccably dressed, and it was then that I remembered that I was to be fitted for a wardrobe. When I entered, the woman smiled brightly at me. From her thoughts I could tell that she knew what the Volturi were but that they paid her well enough to not ask questions. 

She held her hand out to me and I walked over. She helped me stand on the platform and began taking my measurements. As she walked around me, I thought of Alice and what she would think about the whole thing. Thinking of Alice made my eyes sting and I blinked rapidly to clear them. The woman had flashes of thoughts about what she would make for me and her color scheme again reminded me of Alice. This woman wanted to keep me in creams and pastels with elegant lines and simple silhouettes. Before I knew it, she was done, and I was being ushered out of the room and into the elevator yet again.

“What will I do for clothing while she makes my new wardrobe?” I asked Chelsea.

She looked down at me, “I suppose you’ll just have to wear what you brought with you.”

The contents of my bag consisted mostly of undergarment and maybe a few tops. But she had mentioned that they had a laundry service, so that shouldn’t be a problem. This time the elevator stopped on the second floor. This hallway was made of right wooden walls with what looked like genuine gas lamps along the walls. We passed several closed doors until we came to a room that was large, and mostly open. It looked like a kind of drawing room. A large map of Italy covered nearly an entire wall. Several bookcases lined the others from floor to ceiling hand had rolling ladders so that the top shelves could be reached. My mouth opened slightly to see so many books. There were many solid oak tables set around the room with large plush chairs for reading. 

In the very center of the room, Nahuel stood, looking uncomfortable in the tailored dress pants and smart shirt he wore, not used to so much clothing. His long hair had been braided so tightly that for a moment, I thought it had been cut. He stood so that he faced me as we entered the room. There were three others who has their backs to me, all women. There were two blonds, one platinum and one more honey colored, and one raven haired. I could hear their heartbeats from here. As Chelsea and I entered the room, two of the women turned toward the door, no doubt hearing my heartbeat as well. One of the blonds kept her attention on Nahuel. 

These must be Nahuel’s sisters. The one sister who had not turned was speaking with Nahuel in a language that I couldn’t understand but sounded like Spanish of some kind. Nahuel’s thoughts were dark and unfriendly toward this sister. As we reached the group, the conversation stopped and Nahuel smiled softly at me.

“The others of your kind,” Chelsea said by way of introduction, “This is where I leave you.”

And with that she turned on her heel and was gone. I stared at Nahuel and he gave me a shrug in reply. I looked at the other two women who were staring at me with a mixture of expressions. As I was about to introduce myself, the third sister, the one with platinum hair, turned her face to me, and my words died in my throat. Fear, cold and quick froze me in place.

“You must be Renesmee,” she purred at me, rose petal lips smirking at me, “It’s wonderful to finally meet you.”

I stared into the ice blue eyes of the blond woman from my nightmares.


End file.
